I’m in a tough spot with my partner. We’ve got two kids, 14 and 6, plus my 14-year-old niece staying with us. Things blew up when my partner asked the older kids to scrape his dinner plate. They refused, and it turned into a big argument.
He followed them, trying to make them do it. I stepped in and offered to scrape it myself, just to end the drama. This made him furious. He said I undermined him in front of the kids and stormed out.
Now he’s gone, my son’s upset, and there’s a lot of blame going around. My partner thinks I should’ve backed him up no matter what. I feel like he overreacted to a small thing.
Am I wrong for not forcing the kids to scrape his plate? Should I have handled it differently? I’m really torn up about this whole mess.
Chore battles can be so tricky. In our house, we’ve found a chore chart helps avoid arguments. Each kid has their own tasks, and they get to check them off.
We also mix things up with ‘chore dice’ - rolling to see who does what. It adds a fun element of chance. My son actually looks forward to it now.
For plate scraping specifically, we made it a ‘beat the timer’ game. Whoever clears the most plates before the timer dings wins a small prize. It’s not perfect, but it’s cut down on the drama at our dinner table.
In our family, we’ve found that having everyone pitch in with small tasks works well. The kids clear their own plates after meals. It’s become part of our routine.
For bigger chores, we use a reward chart. The kids earn points for tasks they complete. They can trade points for small treats or extra screen time. It’s helped make chores feel more positive.
I’ve noticed the kids are more willing to help when they feel like it’s their choice. Giving options like ‘Do you want to clear the table now or in 5 minutes?’ has cut down on arguments.
It takes time, but focusing on teamwork and small rewards has made a big difference for us. The kids are slowly getting better at helping without being asked.
I’ve been struggling with something similar lately. My 5-year-old sometimes refuses to put toys away. It’s frustrating, but I’m trying to stay patient.
We’ve had some success with making it a game. We race to see who can pick up the most toys in a minute. It doesn’t always work, but it’s better than arguing.
I’m curious how other parents handle refusals. Do you give consequences? Or just let it go sometimes? I worry about being too strict, but I also want my kid to learn responsibility.
It’s tough to know what’s reasonable at this age. I’d love to hear what’s worked for others with young kids.
I’ve had similar situations, and they’re never easy. In our house, we found it worked better to have everyone clear their own plates. It’s a basic responsibility that even young kids can handle.
Your partner’s reaction seems over the top for such a small issue. I remember how frustrating it was when my kids refused to do things, but chasing them down usually made things worse. It sounds like emotions got high on all sides.
When my husband and I disagreed on chores, we’d talk it out later when everyone was calm. Maybe you two can discuss what chores are reasonable for each kid and how to handle refusals. Having a plan in place helps avoid these blow-ups.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. These parenting moments are tough, but they’re chances to figure out what works for your family.
