I’ve been trying different ways to praise my kids, but I’m not sure what really works best to keep them motivated. Anyone have tips on effective ways to give praise that actually encourages kids? I don’t want to overdo it, but I also want them to feel good about their efforts. What’s worked for you?
I’ve learned that timing matters a lot with praise. When my kids were younger, immediate praise worked best. As they got older, I started waiting a bit to comment on their efforts. This gave them time to feel proud of themselves first.
One thing that really clicked for us was praising the process, not just the result. Instead of saying ‘Great job on that A’, I’d say something like ‘I noticed how you studied a little each day for that test.’ This helped them see the connection between their efforts and outcomes.
I also found that my tone made a big difference. Keeping it casual and natural, like I was just noticing something cool they did, seemed to work better than making a big deal out of everything. It took some practice, but it felt more genuine and my kids responded well to it. 
I’ve found that mixing up how I praise my kids keeps them interested. Sometimes I’ll point out a specific thing they did well. Other times I’ll ask them what they think they did great.
Recently, my older one finished a tricky art project. I waited until she brought it to me and asked what she liked most about it. She lit up talking about the colors she chose. It got her thinking about her own work in a positive way.
For my younger one, I try to catch moments when he’s putting in effort, even if the result isn’t perfect. Like when he’s struggling with tying his shoes but keeps trying. Noticing his persistence seems to motivate him to keep at it.
It’s not always easy to remember, but I try to focus on their effort and growth. It seems to help them stay motivated to try new things.
Specific praise about their effort works well for us. Like ‘You worked hard on that math problem.’ My kids seem to respond better to that than general ‘good job’ comments. It’s quick but still meaningful.
In our house, we’ve found that making praise interactive works wonders. After my kid finishes a task, I’ll ask something like ‘What part did you find most challenging?’ or ‘What are you proud of about this?’ It gets them thinking about their own efforts and achievements. They often come up with insights I wouldn’t have noticed, which makes the praise feel more genuine and personal to them.
I’ve been trying different ways to praise my 5-year-old too. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing it right or maybe overdoing it.
Recently, I started pointing out specific things my child does. Like when they put away their toys without being asked, I said ‘You remembered to clean up on your own!’ They seemed happy about that.
I’m curious about how other parents handle praise as kids get older. Do you change your approach as they grow? And how do you balance praise with letting them feel proud on their own?
It’s a bit of a learning curve for me. I want to encourage them but also help them build their own sense of accomplishment. Any tips from parents who’ve been through this stage?