I’ve been learning about positive reinforcement and its impact on kids’ behavior, but I’m unsure if I’m approaching it correctly. Sometimes I worry that I’m either overdoing it with praise or not being specific enough.
What are some effective strategies for giving praise that truly motivates children to maintain good behavior? Should the focus be on praising their efforts or the outcomes? Also, how can I prevent kids from becoming reliant on constant validation?
I’m eager to hear insights from other parents or anyone knowledgeable in child development.
my 5 year old was getting praise for everything and I noticed they started looking at me after every tiny thing waiting for me to say something. that felt wrong to me.
now I try to praise when I’m genuinely surprised or impressed. like when they helped their friend at the playground without being told. those moments feel more real to both of us.
but I’m still figuring out the effort versus outcome thing. do you focus more on praising them for trying hard or for actually getting something done? sometimes my kid tries really hard but the result is still messy.
We accidentally discovered something interesting about praise timing. My kid cleaned their room really well one Saturday, and I didn’t say anything right away because I was busy. When I mentioned it three days later during dinner, they seemed way more proud than usual. Maybe there’s something about delayed recognition that makes it feel more genuine? Now I try mixing immediate feedback with those random moments when I bring up something good they did earlier.
My kids respond better when I notice specific things they did rather than general ‘good job’ comments. Like ‘you organized your backpack without me asking’ works better than ‘you’re so responsible.’ They seem to understand what to repeat that way. I don’t praise every little thing anymore. Found they actually try harder when it’s not constant.