I’ve been reflecting on something my mom often mentions. Growing up in East Africa and later moving to the US, she finds raising children here quite perplexing.
According to her, in her homeland, there isn’t a focus on constantly talking to babies or ensuring they receive endless attention. However, American parents seem to believe that without continuous interaction, babies won’t develop properly. Potty training is another example; she thinks parents here complicate it with systems and rewards, while kids in her culture simply learn on their own.
What really puzzles her is that Western parents feel the need to teach everything in a detailed manner. Tasks like tying shoes, using zippers, or even basic eating skills are things she remembers kids back home learning effortlessly just by observing adults.
The cooking aspect is particularly confusing for her. In the US, parents invest in child-safe kitchen tools and make cooking a formal learning experience. Back in her childhood, kids would just help when they could and learned through experience without the need for specialized equipment or safety instructions.
Additionally, she questions the necessity of allowances and financial education for American kids. In her culture, children managed money during errands without needing structured lessons on budgeting or saving.
Is there truly a substantial difference in the way children learn across cultures, or might my mom’s memories differ from the reality?
Your mom’s perspective really comes through here. It’s crazy how different cultures handle parenting. With my first kid, I went overboard with tools and checklists for every tiny thing. My second? I just let them watch and figure stuff out - worked way better.
Kids picking up skills in the kitchen or just watching adults is amazing. They soak everything up naturally. We probably overthink it here when they could learn through daily life and having the community pitch in. Every culture does it differently, and honestly we’d probably benefit from mixing approaches.
Your mom got real perspective living in both worlds. I saw something similar when my teenagers babysat for families from different cultures. Those kids were way more independent and picked up life skills naturally - no structured teaching needed.
My kids learned tons just hanging around during regular household stuff. But yeah, I definitely fell into that “teachable moment” trap when they were little. Looking back, my best parenting happened when I just let them help with whatever I was doing instead of turning everything into a lesson.
The allowance thing’s interesting too. My 17-year-old’s good with money now, but not from formal budgeting lessons. More from handling real money at their part-time job. Your mom’s probably right - we create systems for stuff kids would figure out naturally through real experience.
Cultural memory’s selective, but the core idea’s solid. Kids learn way more through watching and doing than we think.
My daughter picked up scrambled eggs just by hanging around while I cooked. No lessons or anything - she just started cracking eggs and asking to help. Now she makes her own breakfast sometimes. Your mom’s onto something about kids learning naturally when they’re just part of daily life instead of turning everything into a formal lesson.
My 5-year-old picks up stuff just by watching me way faster than when I actually try teaching them step by step. Like with folding towels - showed them once, now they just do it their own way. Makes me think I’m overcomplicating things. Anyone else think we should just let kids hang around during daily stuff instead of making everything a formal lesson?
My kids picked up way more just watching me do everyday stuff than from any formal lessons I attempted. We’re probably overcomplicating this whole thing.
