I have a 2.5 year old who seems pretty shy and hesitant to try new things. I’ve been reading about positive reinforcement and how it can help build confidence in little ones, but I’m not sure I’m doing it right.
What are some practical ways you’ve used positive reinforcement with your toddlers? I don’t want to go overboard with praise but I also want to encourage her when she does try something new or accomplishes small tasks.
Any specific techniques that worked well for you? Thanks in advance!
My shy kid responded well when I praised her effort, not results. If she couldn’t reach something high up, I’d say “You really stretched for that!” instead of focusing on whether she actually got it. I had to dial back my excitement too. My instinct was to go crazy when she tried new things, but that made her more nervous. A simple “You did it” with a smile beat jumping around like a maniac. Giving her a heads up worked great. “Tomorrow we’re hitting the playground and there might be new kids there” let her prep mentally instead of getting blindsided. She’d still be hesitant, but at least she knew what was coming. Her confidence built slowly. Some days she’d shock me by doing something bold, other days she’d cling to my side. Both totally normal. 
My 5-year-old used to freeze up with new things too. I’d stay close but not hover like sitting on a park bench where she could see me while she tackled the climbing structure alone. When she’d look over, I’d just nod or thumbs up. No big cheering. What really surprised me was how much she responded when I shared my own struggles. I’d say stuff like “I’m learning this new recipe and it’s tricky” or “I messed up but I’m trying again.” She started copying that attitude with her own challenges. Still figuring this out though. Does your daughter respond better to praise right away, or do you wait until she’s completely done with whatever she’s attempting?
We focused on catching the small stuff, not just big achievements. When my daughter reached for something instead of asking for help, I’d say “You tried that yourself!” - no big fanfare needed. I stopped saying “good job” and started describing what I saw instead. She’d stack blocks and I’d say “You put three blocks on top of each other.” Made her way more proud than generic praise. Giving her simple choices worked great too - “Want to put on shoes or jacket first?” She felt in control and capable of deciding things. That confidence from little choices helped her tackle new activities.
My kids love when I celebrate their effort over results. I’ll say stuff like “You didn’t give up even when it got tough” after they struggle through something. What really works though is letting them handle real jobs - folding washcloths, putting groceries away. Makes them feel useful and builds confidence.
I remember when my child was hesitant at the playground. I noticed that simply narrating his actions, like saying ‘you climbed up those steps’ or ‘you’re holding on tight,’ really made a difference. It wasn’t about making a big deal out of it but just recognizing what he was doing. Over time, he began to say ‘I can do this’ to himself before trying out the monkey bars. That calm acknowledgment helped him build confidence more than my excitement ever could.