I’ve been trying to find better ways to discipline my kids without always resorting to punishment. I’ve heard positive reinforcement can be effective, but I’m not sure how to implement it properly. Anyone have experience with this or know some good techniques that actually work? Looking for practical advice that I can start using at home. Thanks!
I remember when my kids were younger, positive reinforcement made a big difference. For us, a simple sticker chart worked wonders. Every time they did something good, they’d get a sticker. Once they filled the chart, they could choose a small reward.
Another thing that helped was ‘catching them being good.’ I’d make a point to notice and praise the little things they did right, even if it was just putting their shoes away without being asked. It took some practice to remember to do this, but it really encouraged more good behavior.
We also started a ‘kindness jar.’ Whenever someone in the family did something kind, we’d put a marble in the jar. When it was full, we’d have a family movie night or go out for ice cream. The kids loved seeing the jar fill up, and it got them thinking about ways to be helpful. 
These methods weren’t perfect, and some days were still challenging. But overall, focusing on the positive made our home a lot more peaceful.
In our house, we’ve found that a reward system for good behavior works really well. Our kids have a chart where they earn points for things like finishing homework, helping with chores, or being kind to each other. They can trade points for small treats or extra screen time.
We also try to praise specific actions. So instead of just saying ‘good job,’ we might say ‘I noticed you cleaned up your toys without being asked. That was really responsible!’ It helps them understand exactly what they did well.
Another thing that’s been helpful is setting clear expectations and routines. When the kids know what’s expected, it’s easier for them to meet those expectations. And when they do, we make sure to acknowledge it.
It’s not always perfect, but focusing on the positive has definitely improved things around here.
Sticker charts worked well for us when the kids were younger. Now with my 9 and 12-year-olds, we have a point system for chores and good behavior. They can earn screen time or small rewards. Praising effort over results has been helpful too. It encourages them to keep trying even when things are tough.
With my 11-year-old, I’ve found that turning chores into games can make a big difference. We sometimes set timers and see who can put away the most laundry before it goes off or play ‘beat the song’ by trying to finish a task before a favorite song ends.
I join in to make it fun rather than just assigning tasks. Although it’s not perfect every day, it seems to create less resistance around the house, and positive reinforcement definitely adds to the overall mood.
I’ve been trying different things with my 5-year-old too. Lately, we started a ‘superhero missions’ game for chores. Some days it works great, other days not so much.
I’m curious about how you handle consistency with positive reinforcement? Do your kids ever lose interest in the reward systems? My little one sometimes gets excited about earning stickers, but then forgets all about it the next day.
One small win we had - I started giving specific praise for effort, not just results. Like when my kid struggles but keeps trying to zip up their jacket. It seems to boost their confidence a bit.
What age did you start with reward charts? I worry sometimes that I’m starting too early with mine. Any tips for keeping it age-appropriate?