I’ve been noticing my 8-year-old daughter being pretty hard on herself lately when she makes mistakes. I want to help her develop a more positive inner voice, but I’m not sure where to start. Does anyone have tips or strategies that have worked well for encouraging kids to be kinder to themselves? I’d appreciate any advice on how to approach this!
My kids struggled with this too. We started a ‘win of the day’ chat at bedtime. They’d share something they felt good about, no matter how small.
Over time, they got better at spotting positives. Now they’re quicker to bounce back from setbacks.
I’ve been trying to work on this with my 5-year-old too. We started a little game where we pretend to be superheroes who say nice things to ourselves. It’s silly, but it gets her giggling and practicing positive self-talk.
Some days it works great, other days not so much. I’m curious how other parents handle setbacks? When your kid falls back into negative self-talk, do you point it out right away or wait for a calmer moment?
I like the idea of a positive moments jar. Maybe we could decorate one together this weekend. Do your kids ever resist writing things down? My daughter’s still learning to write, so I wonder if drawing pictures might work too.
We’ve been working on this with our kids too. Something that’s helped is making a game out of catching positive moments. We have a jar where they can put in notes about things they did well or felt good about.
At the end of the week, we read them together. It’s fun to see what they come up with. Our oldest started noticing more good stuff about himself.
We also talk about how everyone makes mistakes. When they’re upset, we ask what they’d say to a friend in the same situation. It helps them be kinder to themselves.
These little routines have made a difference. They’re quicker to say “I’ll do better next time” instead of getting down on themselves. It takes practice, but kids can learn to be their own cheerleaders.
I remember when my daughter was about that age. She’d get so frustrated when things didn’t go perfectly. What helped us was to talk about mistakes as learning opportunities. We’d share stories about times we messed up and what we learned from it.
One thing that really clicked was having her pretend she was talking to a friend who made a mistake. She’d naturally be much kinder, so we’d practice using those same words for herself. It took time, but gradually she started catching herself and being a bit gentler.
We also started a little tradition of sharing one thing we were proud of at dinner. It helped shift focus to the positive stuff. It wasn’t an overnight change, but over time, I noticed her self-talk improving. Every kid is different though, so you might need to try a few approaches to see what resonates with your daughter. 
Our family found success with a ‘chore challenge’ game. Each week, we pick tasks and turn them into fun missions. My kiddo earns points for completing them, which can be traded for small rewards or privileges.
It’s been interesting to see how this approach has shifted things. Tasks that used to cause arguments now feel more like adventures. The best part is watching my child’s sense of accomplishment grow. They’re starting to take initiative on their own for some chores without prompting.
Of course, not every day is perfect, but overall, it’s made a big difference in our household routine.