I’m struggling with getting my kids to take responsibility for their actions. I’ve heard positive reinforcement can be effective, but I’m not sure how to implement it. Does anyone have experience with this? What techniques have worked for you? I’m looking for practical tips I can try at home. Thanks in advance for any advice!
I’ve been trying to teach my 5-year-old about accountability too. It’s not easy! Recently, we started a simple routine where he helps feed our cat every evening. Some days he’s excited, other days it’s a struggle. I’m curious how others handle consistency?
I like the idea of positive reinforcement, but I worry about relying too much on rewards. Has anyone found a good balance? Right now, we use a lot of verbal praise when he remembers his tasks without prompting. It seems to work sometimes, but I’m not sure if it’s enough.
One thing that’s helped a bit is talking about how his actions help others. Like how feeding the cat makes her happy and healthy. But I’d love to hear more ideas from parents who’ve been through this stage already. What worked best for you in the long run?
I remember when my kids were younger, and we had similar struggles. What worked for us was catching them doing something right and praising it specifically. Like if my son remembered to put his backpack away without being asked, I’d say, “I noticed you put your backpack away on your own. That was really responsible of you!” We also started a ‘responsibility jar’ where they’d earn a marble for good choices. Once it was full, we’d do a fun family activity they chose. It took time, but they started making better decisions to earn those marbles. Another thing that helped was talking through consequences together. If they forgot homework, we’d discuss what might happen at school. It helped them start thinking ahead. Every kid is different though, so you might need to try a few things to see what clicks with yours. 
In our house, we’ve had success with a sticker chart for daily tasks. The kids earn stickers for things like making their beds or clearing dishes. At the end of the week, they can trade stickers for small rewards or extra screen time.
We also started a ‘Helper of the Day’ system. Whoever is helper gets to choose a special job and wear a fun badge. It’s amazing how excited they get about helping when it feels special.
For bigger stuff, we talk about how their actions affect others. Like when my older one remembered her sister’s favorite snack at the store, we talked about how thoughtful that was.
It’s not perfect, but focusing on the good choices has really improved the overall mood in our house. The kids seem proud when they make responsible decisions now.
I’ve found that turning chores into games can make a big difference. Last week, I set up a ‘beat the clock’ challenge for my kid to tidy their room. They had fun racing against the timer, and it sparked their competitive spirit. Another thing that’s worked well is our ‘chore lottery’ system. We put different tasks in a jar, and my child picks one each day. The element of surprise makes it more exciting. These little tweaks have made household responsibilities feel less like work and more like play. It’s not perfect, but we’re seeing progress in terms of willingness to help out around the house.
We started a ‘Good Choice Board’ at home. Kids put a magnet up when they make responsible decisions. Full board means pizza night.
Sometimes they forget, but seeing the board reminds them. It’s helping them think about their actions more.