I’m having a tough time helping my kids learn patience. My 6 and 8 year old get really upset when they have to wait for anything - like their turn in a game or even just standing in line. They often start to whine or act out right away.
I understand that patience takes time to develop, but I’m looking for some straightforward strategies that really work. What has worked for your kids? I’d appreciate simple methods that don’t involve buying a lot of things or setting up complicated reward systems.
We practice waiting at home when there’s no pressure. Like having them wait 30 seconds before opening a snack or counting to 10 before getting up from the table. Small waits that build up their tolerance without the stress of public meltdowns.
I remember when my child would get really upset with waiting. One thing that made a difference was when I started explaining what I was doing and how long it might take. For example, I would say, ‘I’m just finishing this email, and then I’ll help you.’ It seemed to help her stay calm knowing there was a clear end in sight. We also started a simple thing where if she waits patiently, she gets to choose what we do next. It gives her a bit of control without making it complicated.
My 5 year old has the same issue. I’ve been trying something new lately - when we have to wait somewhere, I ask them to help me notice things around us, like “what sounds do you hear?” or “what’s the tallest thing you can see?” It’s working better than just telling them to be patient. At home, I’m still figuring out how to handle it when they want my attention right away while I’m busy. Do you find it harder to teach patience at home or when you’re out? I feel like I’m more stressed about it in public.
One thing that really helped with my kids was making waiting time into something we do together. When we’re in line somewhere, we’ll count things around us or play simple games like ‘I spy’ or see who can spot the most red things. I also started giving them little jobs during waiting periods. At the grocery store, my younger one holds the list while my older one helps spot items on shelves. It keeps their minds busy and makes them feel useful rather than just stuck there. For waiting their turn at home, I’ll set a timer so they can actually see how much time is left. There’s something about seeing the countdown that makes it feel more manageable for them. Plus I make sure to praise them when they wait nicely, even if it’s just for a minute.
Teaching patience was definitely one of our bigger challenges when my kids were that age. What worked for us was starting with really short waits and celebrating those small wins. I’d have them wait just 2-3 minutes while I finished something, then make a point of thanking them for being patient.
My daughter used to get frustrated waiting for her brother to finish his homework before we could play a game. We started using a kitchen timer so she could see exactly how much time was left. Something about watching those numbers go down made it easier for her.
For public situations, I learned to prepare them ahead of time. Before going to the doctor or grocery store, I’d tell them we might have to wait and talk about what we could do during that time. Having a plan seemed to help them feel more in control.
One thing that surprised me was how much modeling mattered. When I stayed calm during waits and talked through my own patience out loud, they picked up on it. “This line is long, but we’re not in a hurry” became something I said often.
Patience really does build over time. Those early efforts pay off later when they can handle longer waits without falling apart.
