I’m looking for practical self-discipline methods that I can teach my kids. I’ve tried a few things but they don’t seem to stick. What techniques have worked well for you with children? Preferably something that’s not too complicated to implement and actually gets results. Thanks in advance!
Visual reward charts work great for us. Started simple - stickers for cleaning up toys or finishing homework before screens. Fill a row, get a small prize like extra bedtime or picking the weekend movie. The cool part? They naturally started doing stuff without even looking at the chart. My youngest automatically puts his backpack away now - it’s just habit. My older daughter gets proud checking off her tasks. They love seeing their progress, and those little rewards keep them excited about it!
Timer trick works great. I set 10 minutes for room cleaning, 5 for shoes, whatever needs doing. Kids watch the countdown and stop seeing me as the bad guy. Now they’re racing the clock instead of arguing with me.
Teaching my kids to pause before reacting changed everything. When my 14-year-old gets frustrated with homework or my 17-year-old wants to argue about curfew, they count to five first. Sounds too simple, but it works.
I started doing this when they were younger. Instead of immediately saying “no” or getting into arguments, I’d say “let me think about that for a second.” They picked it up naturally. Now when emotions run high, that pause gives everyone time to think instead of just react.
Another game-changer: letting them face natural consequences without jumping in to fix everything. My son forgot his lunch a few times and had to figure it out at school. He remembers to pack it now 
Stay calm when they mess up. If you react emotionally, they learn that’s normal. Stay steady and let them work through their choices - they’ll develop their own internal controls over time.
I’m still figuring this out with my child. We use countdowns for cleanup, starting at 5 minutes then 2 minutes. It works occasionally, but some days she just ignores me. Does it get easier as they grow? Should I stick to one method longer or try different things? I’m curious when your kids started being more self-controlled.
My daughter and I found something that works great - we create ‘choice consequences’ together. If she’s not ready for school on time, she picks: bed 15 minutes early or no tablet that day. She loves controlling what happens, and since she helped make the rules, we barely argue anymore. Sometimes she’ll even tell me what consequence she earned when she messes up. That really surprised me.