I’ve been struggling with how to handle my kids’ misbehavior lately. Yelling and scolding just don’t seem to work, and I hate doing it anyway. Does anyone have tips for redirecting bad behavior in a more positive way? I’m looking for practical ideas that actually work but don’t involve harsh discipline. Thanks for any suggestions!
I’ve been there with both my kids. One thing that worked well was setting up a ‘points system’ for good behavior. We had a chart on the fridge, and they’d earn points for things like following directions the first time or helping without being asked. They could trade points for small rewards or save up for bigger ones.
It took some time, but soon they were looking for ways to earn points instead of acting out. We still had tough days, but overall it shifted things in a positive direction. The key was finding rewards they really cared about, like extra video game time for my older one and a special outing with mom for the younger.
Remember, what works can change as they grow. My 14-year-old doesn’t care about the chart anymore, but my 17-year-old still likes earning points towards driving privileges. 
In our house, we’ve had success with a ‘catch them being good’ approach. We started noticing and praising good behavior more often. Even small things like putting away toys or using kind words make a difference. For tougher moments, we try to stay calm and offer choices, like asking, ‘Do you want to clean up now or after your snack?’ This gives the kids a sense of control. We also have a reward jar where the kids earn marbles for helpful actions, and when it’s full we enjoy a fun family activity. It hasn’t been perfect, but overall the kids are happier and there’s less conflict. It does require patience and consistency.
Distraction worked well with my kid aged nine; suggesting a quick game or asking for help with chores diffused the tension. The older kid settled after a calm chat.
I’ve been wondering about this too. My 5-year-old can be a handful sometimes!
I tried making a ‘calm down corner’ in our living room. It has some pillows, books, and fidget toys. When my kid starts acting up, I suggest we take a break there together.
It helps sometimes, but other times it backfires and they refuse to go. I’m curious - has anyone tried something similar? Did it work long-term? And how do you handle it when they won’t cooperate with your redirection attempts?
My kid and I started a ‘Good Behavior Bingo’ game. We made a chart with positive actions, and whenever he did one, he got to mark it off. Filling a row meant a small reward. It shifted the focus from scolding to catching good moments. The game aspect made it fun for him, and I noticed less need for redirecting as he started looking for ways to mark off squares.