I’ve been thinking about how to encourage my kids without putting too much pressure on them. Lately, I’ve heard that it’s better to focus on their progress rather than expecting perfection all the time. Does anyone have suggestions on how to do this effectively? I’m looking for practical ideas that work in real life, not just theory. Thanks in advance for any tips!
In our house, we’ve been experimenting with a ‘task jar’ system. My 11-year-old picks a chore from the jar, and we set a timer for 10 minutes. Whatever gets done in that time is progress, no matter how small.
It’s been interesting to see how this approach takes the pressure off. Some days more gets done, other days less, but there’s always some forward movement. We chat about what worked well or what was tricky afterwards.
I’m still figuring out the best way to acknowledge the effort without going overboard on rewards. It’s definitely a work in progress for us!
I’ve been trying to figure this out too with my 5-year-old. We started a sticker chart for putting away toys, but I’m not sure if it’s working. Sometimes she’s excited about it, other times not so much.
I’m curious how others handle this. Do you give rewards for partial progress? Like if my daughter puts away half her toys, should I still give her a sticker? Or wait until everything’s cleaned up?
Also, how do you keep the excitement going? Our sticker chart worked great for a week, but now she seems less interested. Any ideas for switching things up?
I remember going through a similar phase with my kids. With my youngest, we tried a point system for chores. He’d get points for effort, not just finished tasks. So if he started putting away toys but got distracted, he’d still earn something. It kept him motivated to try again later.
For my older one, we found that verbal praise for small steps worked better than tangible rewards. I’d notice when she made her bed, even if it wasn’t perfect. Over time, she started taking more initiative.
Mixing up the rewards helped keep things fresh. Sometimes it was extra TV time, other times a special treat. We even let them ‘bank’ points for bigger rewards. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but focusing on their progress really helped build their confidence. 
In our family, we’ve had success with a ‘growth jar’ system. The kids write down small achievements on slips of paper and add them to the jar. At the end of the week, we read them together.
It’s amazing to see how proud they are of their progress, big or small. My 10-year-old added ‘read two chapters’ last week, while my 7-year-old put in ‘tried broccoli.’
We don’t always give physical rewards. Sometimes it’s just high fives or extra story time. The kids seem to really enjoy looking back at their jar and seeing how far they’ve come.
It’s not perfect, and some weeks are better than others. But overall, it’s helped shift our focus to the little wins along the way.
We use a simple progress board at home. Kids add stickers for steps toward goals, not just end results.
My 9-year-old is working on a science project. Each day of research earns a sticker, building confidence along the way.