I’m trying to help my kids grow and improve, but I’m not always sure how to give feedback that’s actually helpful. Anyone have tips on giving constructive feedback to children? I want to encourage them without being too critical or discouraging. Thanks for any advice!
I find that feedback works best when given soon after the event. Brief, clear comments like ‘Nice job cleaning your room’ help. For more serious issues, waiting until we’re both calm makes a difference.
I’ve tried to make feedback more of a conversation with my kids. We talk about their day and I ask questions like ‘What did you enjoy?’ or ‘Was anything challenging?’
This opens up chances for them to reflect on their own. When they mention struggles, I might say ‘That sounds tough. What do you think could help next time?’ It lets them come up with ideas while feeling supported.
For bigger goals, we use a sticker chart. Each small step gets a sticker, and they love seeing their progress. It’s been great for building confidence and keeping them motivated without too much pressure.
I’ve been struggling with this too. My 5-year-old is just starting to take on small tasks, and I’m not always sure how to guide them.
I tried a ‘feedback sandwich’ approach recently. I start with something positive, then mention an area for improvement, and end with encouragement. For example, ‘I love how you put your toys in the box! Next time, let’s try to put the books on the shelf too. You’re getting so good at cleaning up!’
Has anyone else tried this method? I’m curious if it works long-term or if kids start to tune out the praise. What other ways have you found to give feedback without discouraging your little ones?
I’ve found that turning feedback into a game works well with my 11-year-old. We have a ‘feedback jar’ where we write down positive things we notice about each other throughout the week. On Sundays, we read them out loud together. It’s become a fun ritual, and my kid looks forward to it. This approach helps balance out any constructive criticism with lots of positive reinforcement. Plus, it’s teaching them to look for the good in others too.
I remember when my kids were younger, figuring out how to give feedback was tricky. What worked for us was keeping it simple and specific. Instead of saying ‘good job,’ I’d point out exactly what they did well, like ‘You folded all your shirts neatly.’
For areas needing improvement, I’d frame it as a question: ‘How do you think we could make this better next time?’ It got them thinking and problem-solving on their own.
As they got older, we started having ‘feedback chats’ during car rides. It was a relaxed time to talk about their week, what went well, and what they found challenging. Those casual conversations often led to the most productive discussions about growth and improvement. 
Remember, every kid is different. What worked for mine might not work for yours, but the key is to keep trying different approaches until you find what clicks.