I’m trying to motivate my kids to actually do their chores without having to constantly remind them. I’ve been thinking about setting up some kind of reward system but I’m not sure what would work best for different ages. My kids are 6, 9, and 12 so they’re all at pretty different stages.
What rewards have worked well for you? I don’t want to go overboard with expensive stuff but also want it to be something they’ll actually care about. Any ideas for things that might work for these age ranges?
I’m still figuring this out with my 5-year-old, but it’s been surprising how much she enjoys choosing her own reward from a list. We have options like staying up 15 minutes late, picking breakfast, or deciding our activity for the day. She seems to get just as excited about the selection process as she does about the reward itself. Have you thought about letting your kids help create the reward list? I’m curious if that approach would resonate with older kids, or if they’d just jump for the more expensive rewards.
My kids love earning one-on-one time with us way more than toys or treats. Movie dates, ice cream runs, letting them pick our weekend plans - that stuff means everything to them.
We’ve had great success with point systems for bigger rewards. My child who is 7 gets pumped about earning trips to the ice cream shop or picking dinner. My child who is 10 saves points for sleepovers or weekend activities. The visual element really surprised me - we use a marble jar and they love watching it fill up. My younger daughter beams when showing off her marbles. They’ll even ask for extra chores just to hear that marble drop.
My 11-year-old loves earning screen time credits - we do 15-minute blocks that stack up all week. She’s obsessed with tracking her progress on this chart we made together. Half the time she’ll do extra chores just to watch the numbers grow. For a 12-year-old, try later weekend bedtimes or letting them pick movie night.
It really depends on the kid. My 17-year-old was all about instant gratification when she was little - picking dinner or staying in PJs all weekend hit differently for her. My older son? He was purely motivated by money, even just quarters adding up.
For your 6-year-old, consider rewards they can enjoy right away, like extra bedtime stories, picking the family movie, or having friends over. That age really loves those immediate rewards.
Your 9-year-old might be more into earning privileges. Things like special cups at dinner or having first dibs on weekend plans can work well at that age.
As for the 12-year-old, they want to feel more grown-up. Allowing later weekend bedtimes was huge for my kids or letting them redesign their room. Some kids at that age get excited about earning money for something they’re saving for. 
Make sure to switch up the rewards too - what works one month might not motivate them the next.