I’m looking for some practical advice on how to motivate my kids when they do something good. I’ve been trying the usual “good job” but it doesn’t seem to have much impact anymore. What kinds of praise or rewards actually work to encourage positive behavior? I have kids aged 5 and 8 if that makes a difference. Any tips from other parents would be really helpful!
We started a point system six months ago and it’s been great. Kids earn points for homework without nagging, helping with chores, stuff like that. They cash them in for treats or activities they want. The chart surprised me - they love tracking their progress. My younger kid gets pumped about earning just one point, while my older one saves up for bigger stuff. The visual tracking motivates them way more than I thought it would. I also call out good choices when I see them - ‘Hey, I saw you share your snack with your sister’ - and that keeps them doing more of it.
We ditched rewards and just started calling out what we noticed. Like ‘you stuck with that tough math problem’ or ‘thanks for helping your brother without me asking.’ Works way better than those sticker charts ever did.
My kid tuned out praise when I turned everything into a huge celebration. What actually worked? Focusing on effort, not just results. Instead of generic compliments, I’d say stuff like ‘I noticed you put your dishes away without me asking.’ For rewards, we do random privileges - extra 15 minutes before bed or they pick the movie. The surprise factor keeps it fresh without them expecting something every time.
Raising two teenagers taught me that kids are totally different. My 14-year-old loved process praise - stuff like ‘I saw you keep trying with that frustrating puzzle.’ My 17-year-old? He just wanted a quick nod, no big deal.
What shocked me was how privileges beat stuff every time. Staying up 20 minutes later on weekends or picking dinner was way more motivating than toys or treats. 
Timing was huge too. Catch them in the moment, not hours later. Some days they didn’t want praise at all - just wanted me to notice and move on. I learned to read their moods and know when to speak up versus when to just smile and keep walking.
I find that being specific with praise helps my child more than just saying “good job.” For example, I say things like “you did a great job sorting those blocks!” Rewards are a work in progress. I tried stickers, but now my child expects them every time. Do your kids get tired of rewards eventually? I’m interested to hear what works for your older child compared to the younger one.