I’m looking for practical advice on using positive reinforcement with kids. My 6 and 9 year old have been acting out lately, and I want to focus more on rewarding the good stuff instead of just punishing bad behavior all the time.
What methods have worked well for you? I’ve tried sticker charts before, but they seem to lose interest pretty quick. Are there other approaches that actually stick long-term? Any specific techniques or timing tips would be really helpful.
Catching my kids doing something right works way better than waiting for problems. When my daughter clears her dishes without me asking, I tell her right then how helpful she’s being and that I’m proud of her.
One-on-one time is huge too. Twenty minutes of whatever they want - reading together, playing their favorite game - costs nothing but they eat it up. That focused attention is everything to them.
I’ve learned to get specific with praise instead of just saying ‘good job.’ Like when one of them shares snacks without being told, I call out exactly that. They remember those moments and keep doing it.
My child responds well to immediate praise when they do something good. A comment like “Hey, you put your plate away without me asking!” seems to work better than discussing it later. I’m curious about what you mean by losing interest in sticker charts. Were the rewards boring or just too predictable? I’m considering whether to skip charts altogether and try a different approach.
I’ve found that linking rewards to everyday situations works wonders. For example, when my child helps me out with chores, I offer them some extra screen time as a direct result of their efforts. Recognizing their contribution right after they finish really enhances the praise, making it more authentic. It seems important to create that connection so they understand how their good behavior directly benefits them in real time.
We skip the charts and just catch them being good in real time. A quick ‘nice job’ right when it happens, then maybe they get extra screen time or choose dinner later. Honestly, the instant praise hits harder than whatever reward comes after.
Switching up rewards worked great for me - kids get bored fast. Mine are older now, but back then they’d get excited about something for a week, then completely lose interest.
I kept a mental list of what they liked. Sometimes it was staying up 15 minutes later, picking dinner, or choosing our movie night pick. Other times small treats or just a note in their lunchbox about something they did well.
Timing matters big time. I had to catch them right when they did something good, especially my younger kid. Waiting until bedtime to mention how they shared that morning? Zero impact. 
What shocked me was how much they loved earning “privileges” - answering the door or helping cook dinner. Free but felt special to them. Each kid responded differently, so I figured out what motivated each one.