Need advice on how to handle disrespectful teen daughter
My 17-year-old keeps putting down her mom for being a stay-at-home parent. She’s made rude comments for months about how my wife is wasting her life and education. It came to a head when she called her mom a “loser” at a family BBQ.
We’ve tried talking to her but she won’t stop or apologize. Now we’re having my wife stop doing things for her like cooking meals, giving rides, etc. until she changes her attitude.
Our older kids are split on if we’re being too harsh. The 17-year-old claims she’s just trying to “help” her mom see how sad her life is. But my wife is happy with her choices.
Are we wrong for taking this approach? How else can we get through to our daughter about respecting her mom’s role? Any advice for dealing with this situation would be appreciated.
My kid went through a phase of questioning my job choices too. It was frustrating, but I realized she was just trying to figure out her own path. We started having her help plan our weekly schedule and budget.
At first she thought it would be easy, but soon she saw how much goes into running a household. We also talked about different types of success and fulfillment.
It took time, but her attitude slowly changed. She started asking more questions about why I made my choices instead of judging them. Listening to her concerns about her future helped too.
I’ve been there, and it’s a tough spot. When my oldest hit her teens, she went through a phase of putting down my wife’s choice to stay home. It was hurtful, but we realized she was dealing with her own worries about the future.
We found that cutting off support backfired and made her more resentful. Instead, we had her spend time volunteering at a women’s shelter. It opened her eyes to different life choices and struggles.
Another thing that helped was having my wife share stories about her career before kids. It showed our daughter a different side of her mom.
These things took time, but they slowly changed her attitude. Remember, teens are figuring out their values. Sometimes they test boundaries in harsh ways. Hang in there and keep communication open.
That’s a tough situation. I can see why you’re frustrated. My child is only 5, so I haven’t dealt with teen issues yet. But I’m curious how long this behavior has been going on? Have you tried asking your daughter why she feels this way about stay-at-home parents?
I wonder if there’s something deeper going on, like pressure about her own future or comparing your family to her friends’. Maybe sitting down and really listening to her concerns could help? Even if you disagree, understanding her perspective might open up a better conversation.
What positive approaches have you tried so far to address this? I’d love to hear what’s worked or not worked for other parents dealing with disrespectful teens.
Teens can be harsh. We went through something similar. Had to step back and realize our kid was lashing out about other stuff. College stress, friend drama, you name it. Took time, but things improved once we all cooled off and really talked it out.
We went through something similar with our older one. It was tough, but we found that adding more responsibility actually helped shift her perspective.
We asked her to plan and cook dinner once a week. At first she grumbled, but soon she started to see how much work goes into running a household.
We also had her shadow her aunt at work for a day. It gave her a glimpse of different career paths and life choices.
Over time, her attitude changed. She started to appreciate her mom’s role more. It wasn’t instant, but gradually things improved.
Keeping communication open was key. We listened to her worries about her own future too. It turned out a lot of her comments came from her own uncertainties.
