My wife and I are having trouble with our 17-year-old daughter Sasha. She’s been making rude comments about my wife’s choice to be a stay-at-home mom. We’ve tried talking to her, but she won’t stop.
Things got really bad at our Labor Day BBQ. Sasha called my wife a “loser who stays home and wastes her life away.” My wife was really hurt.
Now we’ve decided to let Sasha fend for herself. She has to make her own meals, get herself to school, and do more chores. We won’t help her until she changes her attitude.
Some examples:
We didn’t give her dinner one night
We didn’t drive her to school when she missed the bus
My wife won’t volunteer at Sasha’s school anymore
Our oldest daughter thinks we’re being too harsh. But we feel Sasha needs to learn respect.
Are we going too far? Should we try a different approach? We’re not sure what to do next.
I’ve been in a similar situation with my older child. It was tough, but we found that consequences tied to specific behaviors worked better than broad punishments.
For us, this meant setting clear expectations about respect and kindness. When those weren’t met, we’d remove a privilege directly related to the issue. For example, if unkind words were said, we’d reduce social media time that day.
We also started having more open conversations as a family. We’d share our feelings and try to understand each other’s perspectives. It took time, but it helped us get to the root of what was really going on.
Have you tried asking Sasha why she feels so strongly about stay-at-home moms? There might be something deeper bothering her that she’s struggling to express. Listening without judgment could open up some new insights.
I remember those tough teen years. My daughter went through a phase of being disrespectful too. It’s frustrating, but harsh punishments didn’t work for us.
We found success by setting clear expectations and consequences and sticking to them consistently. Instead of taking away basics like meals, we focused on privileges that mattered to her—for example, extra phone time or more outings with friends.
Keeping communication open really helped. We held regular family meetings where everyone could talk about their feelings in a calm setting. Over time, my daughter eventually shared what was really bothering her.
Have you thought about gently asking Sasha what might be at the root of her strong feelings about stay-at-home moms? Sometimes teens act out when there’s something deeper going on.
With patience and ongoing conversation, things can slowly start to improve.
I can relate to the challenges you’re facing with Sasha. When my kid was younger, we had our share of attitude issues too. One thing that helped us was finding ways to give more independence while still maintaining boundaries.
We started letting our child have more say in household decisions. This included meal planning, chore assignments, and even some family rules. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but it did lead to more respectful conversations over time.
Have you considered giving Sasha more responsibilities that she finds meaningful? Sometimes teens act out when they’re feeling powerless or unheard. Maybe there’s a way to channel her energy into something positive that she cares about.
Your situation with Sasha sounds really tough. I’m still learning how to handle challenges with my 5-year-old, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be with a teenager.
I’m curious about what led to Sasha’s comments. Has she always felt this way about stay-at-home moms? Or is this a new behavior?
Have you tried sitting down with Sasha to understand her perspective without judgment? Maybe there’s something else going on in her life that’s causing her to lash out.
How does Sasha respond when you explain how her words affect your wife? Does she show any remorse or understanding?
I’d love to hear more about what strategies you’ve tried so far and how Sasha has reacted to them. It might help to get a clearer picture of what’s working and what isn’t.
