I’m trying to find better ways to motivate my kids that don’t involve buying them stuff or giving material rewards all the time. It’s getting expensive and I feel like they’re starting to expect something every time they do what they’re supposed to do.
What are some non-material ways you’ve found that actually work to keep kids motivated? Looking for practical ideas that have worked for other parents.
I totally get where you’re coming from with this one. When my kids were younger, I went through the same phase of constantly buying little treats or toys as rewards, and it definitely got out of hand.
What worked better for us was shifting to experiences and privileges instead. Things like staying up 30 minutes later on weekends, picking the family movie, or getting to choose what we have for dinner became way more valuable to them than another toy that would just end up forgotten.
One thing that really surprised me was how much they loved one-on-one time as a reward. Even just 20 minutes of undivided attention playing a game they picked or hearing about their day made them feel special. My 17-year-old still remembers those moments more than any gift I bought.
I also started letting them earn ‘freedom’ - like walking to the store alone or having friends over. These privileges felt huge to them and didn’t cost me anything. The trick was making sure these rewards still felt earned, not just handed out. It took some trial and error, but now they’re motivated by things that actually matter to them 
Extra screen time on weekends works well for mine. Also letting them pick the family movie or what we have for dinner. My 9 year old loves getting to stay up 30 minutes later than usual. Simple stuff but they see it as special.