I’m struggling to keep my kids motivated with their chores. We’ve tried different approaches but nothing seems to stick long-term. Sometimes I give them allowance, sometimes treats, but it’s all over the place and they’re starting to slack off.
Looking for practical ideas on setting up a reward system that actually works and doesn’t require me to constantly change things up. What has worked for your family?
We started with a visual chart on the fridge that tracks completed tasks rather than focusing on what they missed. Each finished chore gets a checkmark, and after collecting a certain number they get to choose from a small reward jar we filled together. What really helped was making the rewards immediate at first - like picking the movie for family night or choosing what we have for dinner. Now that they’re used to it, we can space things out more. My kids seem to respond better when they can see their progress building up rather than just getting something right after each task.
We’ve been experimenting with letting my kid pick the reward at the start of each week. Sometimes it’s extra screen time, sometimes a special outing, or just staying up late on Friday. What surprised me was how much more motivated she became when she had control over what she was working toward. The chores themselves haven’t changed but having that choice seems to make the whole thing feel less like something I’m making her do.
What you’re describing sounds exactly like what happened in our house a few years back. The constant switching between different rewards was actually making things worse because my kids never knew what to expect.
I learned that picking one system and really committing to it for at least two months was crucial. We went with a points system where completed chores earned points that could be “spent” on different things. Screen time cost fewer points, special outings cost more. The kids could save up or spend right away.
The hardest part was not giving in when they complained it was “boring” after a few weeks. My 14-year-old especially tried to negotiate for extra rewards during that adjustment period. But once we pushed through that phase, it became second nature.
One thing that helped was letting them help design the point values for different rewards. They felt more invested when they had input on whether an hour of video games was worth 5 points or 10 points. 
Now at 14 and 17, they barely need the formal system anymore. The routine stuck even as the rewards became less important to them.
We settled on a simple weekly allowance tied to completing their basic chores. Same amount every week if they get it done, nothing if they don’t. Took about a month but now it’s just routine.
We’re going through the same thing with my child who is 5. Right now I’m trying to mix things up, but maybe that’s the problem. Some days we do sticker charts, other days I promise extra story time. It sounds like you all found systems that work, but I’m curious about how you knew when to stop changing things. Did your kids express boredom or did you just pick one approach and stick with it even when it felt stale?