I’ve been trying different approaches with my 6 year old who’s been acting up lately - tantrums, not listening, the usual stuff. Some people swear by reward systems like sticker charts or earning screen time for good behavior, while others say it just creates kids who only behave when they get something out of it.
I’m curious what’s actually worked for you parents out there? Did rewards help change your kid’s behavior long-term or did they just work temporarily? And if you stopped using rewards, did the good behavior stick around?
Just looking for some real experiences before I commit to another parenting strategy that might not pan out.
Sticker charts worked for a while with my younger kid. The good behavior mostly stuck, but I had to slowly cut back on rewards because she started asking what she’d get for doing everything.
My kid went through the same thing at that age. We set up a token system - he’d earn points for getting ready without me nagging him three times or clearing his dishes. He got obsessed with counting points and trading them for extra weekend gaming time. What surprised me was how competitive he got with himself about earning tokens. We slowly phased it out after six months and most habits stuck. He still asks ‘do I get points for this?’ sometimes, but the routines held up even without rewards.
My 5-year-old had the same problems, so I started a coin jar. She earns coins for getting dressed without me nagging or using nice words when she’s frustrated. Didn’t expect her to love dropping the coins in so much - she runs over to show me every single time. I’m still figuring out this reward stuff though. Have you noticed some behaviors change easier than others? We’re still hit-or-miss with listening even with rewards, but mornings got way smoother.
Rewards worked great for me, but timing was everything. With my older kid, I started small - extra bedtime stories for doing chores or letting them pick dinner after a good day. Making rewards feel special, not just expected, made a difference.
After staying consistent for a few months, the good behavior stuck. Now I just call out the wins - ‘you got your backpack ready yourself!’ - and that keeps things positive.
My younger one needed something totally different, which is fine. Six-year-olds are still figuring out self-control, so having clear goals really helped us get through the rough patches. The tantrums basically disappeared once we found our system!
Been there with my youngest at that age - the tantrums were brutal! Rewards saved us, but they work better short-term than forever. We did a simple chart where he’d earn extra bedtime stories or got to pick our weekend movie. Gave him something real to aim for when everything felt like chaos.
What shocked me was how rewards helped him practice until the good behavior just became habit. After a few months, I spaced them out and mostly just acknowledged when he handled stuff well. The behaviors stuck because he’d gotten used to doing them.
My older daughter was completely different though - she responded way better to natural consequences and didn’t need the external push. Every kid’s wired differently, so don’t beat yourself up if you need to try several things before one works. At six, their brains are still learning self-control, so patience really helps.