I’ve been reading about different parenting approaches and keep seeing positive reinforcement mentioned for helping kids become more independent. But I’m not really sure how it actually works in practice.
Like, if I want my 7-year-old to start doing things on their own without me constantly reminding them, how does praising them or giving rewards actually lead to independence? Wouldn’t they just keep expecting praise for everything?
Anyone have experience with this or know the reasoning behind it? I’m trying to figure out if this approach actually works long-term.
I started praising my kids for tiny things like putting dishes away and packing their backpacks. After a few months, they continued doing those tasks without reminders. The praise faded naturally once the habit was established.
I remember when my child needed constant reminders for simple tasks. It felt overwhelming at times. I began acknowledging those little victories, like when they remembered to do something without prompting. Gradually, I noticed they took pride in these small responsibilities. Rather than waiting for my approval, they began to feel more confident managing things independently, which was encouraging to see.
My daughter got way more independent once I started telling her how proud she looked doing stuff herself. She’d totally light up remembering to brush her teeth or feed the dog without me nagging.
Kids want to feel capable. Praise their effort and they’ll hunt for more ways to impress you. My son now asks to help with bigger chores because he remembers how good it felt before.
Eventually they stop needing your approval and just feel proud of themselves. It’s like they’ve got their own cheerleader in their head.
I’m curious about how timing plays a role in this. My child really lights up when I praise them for making their bed or clearing their plate. However, there are days when they forget and need a reminder from me. Does the praise still hold value if I prompt them beforehand? Or is it better to only praise when they accomplish tasks independently? I feel uncertain about whether I’m doing the right thing by reminding them.
With my teens, I’ve learned positive reinforcement hits different at various ages. When my daughter was 7, I’d celebrate every time she fed the cat or put away her lunch box. She’d light up and want to keep earning that recognition.
After weeks of consistent praise, something interesting happened - she started doing these tasks because they felt normal. The praise wasn’t driving her anymore, the routine was. She’d actually get annoyed if I made too big a deal about something she thought was “easy.”
My son took longer to get there, but same pattern. The positive feedback made him feel capable and successful, which gave him confidence to try new things without waiting for my direction.
The magic happens when kids internalize that good feeling of accomplishment. They stop needing external validation because they’ve experienced what being responsible feels like. It took patience, but both my kids eventually became pretty self-sufficient with daily tasks.
