I’ve been trying to teach my kids to be more responsible, but I’m not sure what approach works best. Does anyone have experience with positive reinforcement vs punishment? Which one seems more effective for getting kids to do chores, finish homework, etc? I’ve tried both but I’m curious what others think or if there’s research on this. Thanks for any input!
I’ve found that turning chores into games works well. We do a timer challenge for tidying up - my kid tries to beat their own record each time. It’s not perfect, but it makes cleanup less of a battle.
For homework, we use a point system where finishing assignments earns screen time. It’s still a work in progress, yet I’ve noticed more initiative lately.
Staying flexible and making adjustments as needed has helped. Some weeks go smoother than others, but overall I’ve seen improvement in how my child takes on more responsibilities.
In our family, we’ve found a mix of positive reinforcement and natural consequences works well.
For chores, we use a simple chart. The kids get points for completing tasks, which they can trade for small rewards or privileges. It’s not perfect, but it’s helped build good habits over time.
With homework, we focus on praising effort and improvement rather than just grades. Our oldest has started taking more initiative with schoolwork since we began this approach.
We also let them experience natural results of their choices. If they forget their lunch, they eat the backup option at school. It’s taught them to think ahead without us nagging.
Overall, staying patient and consistent has been key. Some weeks are better than others, but we’re seeing progress in their sense of responsibility.
Tried both with my kids. Positive reinforcement clicked better.
Started small - praise for putting away backpacks. Gradually upped expectations.
Now my 12-year-old handles most chores without prompting. My 9-year-old still needs reminders, but is improving.
Consistency matters more than the specific method.
When my kids were younger, I tried both rewards and punishments. Honestly, positive reinforcement worked way better for us. 
I noticed my kids were more eager to help out when they knew there was something good coming their way. It could be as simple as extra TV time or choosing dinner on Friday. They’d get excited about earning these rewards, and over time, doing chores became more of a habit.
Punishments just led to more arguments and bad feelings in our house. The kids would do things grudgingly or try to get out of them. With rewards, they were actually motivated to pitch in.
That said, every kid is different. What worked for my teens might not work for yours. It took some trial and error to find the right balance. The important thing was staying consistent once we found what worked for us.
I’ve been experimenting with positive reinforcement for my 5-year-old. We started a sticker chart for picking up toys. It’s going okay, but I wonder about long-term effects.
Some days my kid is excited to earn stickers. Other times, they ignore the chart completely. I’m not sure if I should keep pushing or try something new.
Has anyone found a good balance between rewards and just expecting chores to get done? I worry about relying too much on rewards, but punishment doesn’t feel right either.
Maybe there’s a middle ground I’m missing? Or does it just take time for habits to form at this age?