I’m trying to understand how positive reinforcement actually helps kids develop good habits. My 7 year old struggles with basic routines like brushing teeth and cleaning up after himself. I’ve heard that positive reinforcement works better than nagging or punishments but I’m not really sure how it works or why it’s more effective.
Does anyone know the science behind this? Like what’s actually happening in their brains when you use positive reinforcement vs just telling them what to do? And how long does it usually take to see results with this approach?
My 5-year-old was exactly like this with routines. When I praised her for remembering to put dishes away, she’d sprint to tell dad about it. That excitement helped her remember the next day. But do you think kids outgrow needing praise at some point? Sometimes I wonder if I’m overdoing it.
I can relate to your situation. My child was similar, and I found that acknowledging those small victories made a big difference. When I saw them simply reach for their toothbrush without a reminder, I highlighted that moment, which seemed to make a positive impact. It felt less like I was nagging and more like we were celebrating progress. Over a few weeks, their willingness to engage in routines really shifted. It’s interesting how those small moments can lead to bigger changes.
I’ve noticed my kids respond so much better when I use positive reinforcement instead of nagging. For instance, I started a sticker chart for my 7-year-old’s bedtime routine, and now he actually asks to brush his teeth! It’s so nice to see that shift.
I also celebrate little things, like when my 10-year-old makes her bed without any reminders. Over time, those good habits just became part of their routine. They feel proud of themselves, and I’m not constantly reminding them. It’s been a great change for our family!
What really clicked for me was watching my kids’ reactions when I stopped constantly correcting them and started noticing when they did things right. My younger one forgot to put his backpack away every day until I made a big deal about the times he remembered. Something just clicked.
Kids want to repeat whatever gives them that good feeling. My older daughter started doing homework without being asked once I stopped harping on her procrastination and instead mentioned how responsible she looked getting it done early.
Timeline was different for each kid though. My son picked up on it in a couple weeks, but my daughter took over a month to really shift. Both needed that positive attention way more than I realized. Now at 14 and 17, they still light up when I acknowledge their efforts, even when they pretend they don’t care!
It took my kids a couple of weeks before they started to connect good behavior with rewards. They really seem to enjoy the extra time we spend together. It’s interesting how quickly they adapt when there’s something enjoyable at the end.
