I’m working on helping my kids develop more patience but struggling with how to effectively use positive reinforcement. What specific strategies or techniques have worked for you? Like when they’re waiting in line or for their turn with something, how do you reward the patient behavior without making it feel forced? Any practical examples would be really helpful. My kids are 5 and 7 if that matters.
I call it out immediately when I see them being patient. ‘Hey, I saw you wait so nicely’ or ‘thanks for being patient with your brother.’ Works way better than rewards for us. They do it more when they know I’m actually watching and notice.
I turned waiting time into connection moments. When my kids wait patiently at the doctor’s office or restaurant, I whisper ‘you’re doing such a good job waiting’ or tell them a quick silly story just for them. They love that one-on-one attention. They also respond well when I point out how their patience helped someone else - like ‘because you waited so nicely, your sister got to finish her turn and now she’s happy.’ They feel proud knowing their behavior made a difference. I keep small treats in my bag as surprise thank-yous after they’ve shown patience. A piece of gum or letting them pick the next song. It’s about celebrating what they already did well, not bribing them.
My daughter responds way better to quick praise in the moment than typical rewards. When she’s waiting patiently while her friend talks, I’ll quietly say ‘wow, you’re really listening well’ or just smile and nod at her. I’ll bring it up later too - ‘I noticed how nicely you waited at the store today.’ She picks up on those moments and wants that feeling again.
My 5 year old does the same thing, especially at the grocery store. I try to catch the moments when she actually waits without fussing. Quick high five or saying ‘you did great’ works well. But I’m not always consistent. Half the time I’m too distracted and only remember to say something once we’re home. Does praising right away work better for you, or does mentioning it later still help?
When my kids were that age, I used a marble jar system. They’d earn a marble for waiting without whining or complaining. Full jar meant they got to pick our next family activity. The key was keeping them busy during waits. I always carried small stuff like coloring books and simple puzzles. When they used these quietly, I praised them later for being so patient. They loved hearing they handled it well.
My younger kid enjoyed countdown games. “Let’s count to 20” or “I spy something blue” kept him occupied. Good behavior earned extra bedtime story time. My older one preferred earning privileges like picking our next movie night. 
Every kid’s different though. Some need praise right away, others work better with rewards they can earn. You’ll figure out what works for each of yours.