I’m trying to help my kids learn patience but I keep falling back on the whole “just wait” thing which obviously doesn’t work that well. I’ve heard positive reinforcement is supposed to be more effective but I’m not really sure how to apply it specifically for patience.
Like when they’re waiting in line or for their turn with something, what kinds of rewards or praise actually work? And how do you time it right so they connect the dots between being patient and getting the positive feedback?
Any parents here had success with this approach? Would love to hear what actually worked for you in real situations.
I’ve found it really helpful to acknowledge moments of patience as they happen. For instance, if we’re waiting for our food at a restaurant and my son is being quiet, I might say, “I see how calm you are while we wait - it’s great to see you growing up.”
At first, it was tricky to time the praise just right, but now I try to catch those little moments of patience. Even if he only waits for 30 seconds, I make sure to recognize it.
For longer waits, we like to play what I call ‘patience games.’ We count things around us or take turns telling silly stories. It helps the time pass and makes waiting feel more fun for both of us.
We started using what I call ‘patience points’ during long waits at the doctor’s office or grocery store. My kid earns a point for every few minutes of calm waiting, and we track them on a little notepad. Once we hit five points, we do something small they enjoy like picking the next song in the car.
What surprised me was how much the tracking itself became part of the fun. Now my daughter actually looks forward to situations where she can earn patience points, which feels like a total win.
We give specific praise right after they wait without complaining. Something like ‘you waited so nicely while I finished that call.’
Also found that setting a timer helps. Kids can see the countdown and know there’s an actual end point. Makes the waiting feel more manageable for them.