I’m trying to teach my kids to be more accountable for their actions, but I want to do it in a positive way. Has anyone had success using positive reinforcement for this? What kind of rewards or praise worked well? I’m not sure how to balance encouraging good behavior without going overboard. Any tips or experiences would be really helpful!
I’ve been there with my two kids. We tried a bunch of things over the years. What worked best was keeping it simple and consistent. We started with a basic list of chores on the fridge. When they finished tasks, they’d get a small reward like extra TV time or picking dessert.
As they got older, we switched to a point system. They could save up points for bigger things they wanted. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but it helped them connect their actions to results.
One thing that surprised me was how much they liked feeling trusted with more responsibility. My older one took pride in doing the dishes without reminders. The younger one got excited about helping with laundry.
Every kid is different though. What worked for us might not work for everyone. The most important thing was finding a system that fit our family and sticking with it. 
I’ve been trying to figure this out too with my 5-year-old. We started with a simple star chart for picking up toys. Some days it works great, other days not so much. I’m curious about the game idea - how do you make chores into games?
I’ve noticed my kid gets excited when I ask for help with ‘grown-up’ tasks like sorting laundry. It seems to make them feel important. But I worry about relying too much on praise or rewards. Will they always expect something for helping out?
What’s worked best for other parents as kids get older? I’d love to hear about systems that have lasted beyond the initial excitement.
In our house, we’ve found that a sticker chart works wonders for teaching accountability. The kids get stickers for things like putting away toys or helping with small chores. They love seeing the chart fill up!
We also make a big deal out of ‘catching them being good.’ When they do something responsible without being asked, we point it out and give lots of praise. This seems to motivate them to keep it up.
For bigger accomplishments, they get to choose a fun family activity as a reward. It could be a trip to the park or picking a movie for movie night.
The key has been keeping it positive and celebrating the little wins along the way. It’s not perfect, but we’ve seen good progress with this approach so far.
Sticker charts worked for us early on. Now we use a points system for chores and responsibilities.
My 12-year-old saves points for bigger rewards. The 9-year-old likes immediate small treats.
They both enjoy extra privileges like later bedtime when they follow through consistently.
We’ve tried different approaches over the years. Something that’s been working well lately is turning chores into mini-games. My kid loves timing himself to see how fast he can put away laundry or tidy his room. We also have a ‘chore jar’ where he can pick a random task, which adds an element of surprise. It’s not perfect, but making it more fun has definitely increased his willingness to help out around the house. The key has been keeping things light and playful rather than strict or punitive.