I’ve been trying to raise my kids to be kind, but I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. Anyone have tips on using positive reinforcement to encourage kindness? What’s worked for you? I’m looking for practical ways to praise and reward kind behavior without going overboard. Thanks for any advice!
I remember dealing with this when my kids were younger. What worked for us was just pointing out kind acts when we saw them. I’d say something like, “That was really nice of you to help your sister with her homework.” Nothing too over-the-top, just a simple acknowledgment.
We also had a family tradition of sharing one kind thing we did or saw someone else do at dinner. It got the kids thinking about kindness throughout the day. They’d look for opportunities to be kind so they’d have something to share.
As they got older, we started talking more about how their actions affected others. If they did something unkind, we’d ask how they thought the other person felt. It helped them develop empathy.
Remember, kids learn a lot from watching us. When they saw me being kind to others, it reinforced the importance of kindness. 
We’ve been experimenting with a ‘kindness jar’ at home. When someone in the family does something kind, we add a marble to the jar. Once it’s full, we do a fun activity together.
My kid loves watching the jar fill up. It’s become a game to spot kind acts. The other day, she helped a neighbor carry groceries just to add a marble.
Sometimes we talk about the marbles at dinner, sharing stories behind them. It’s neat to see how it’s gradually shaping her awareness of others.
I’ve been wondering about this too! My 5-year-old sometimes shares toys or helps others, but I’m not sure how to encourage more of it. I’ve tried pointing out when they do something kind, but I worry about overdoing it. Do you think noticing and mentioning kind acts is enough? Or should there be more? I’d love to hear what’s worked for other parents in making kindness a natural habit for kids.
In our home, we’ve found creating a kindness chart really helpful. Our kids get stickers for acts of kindness they do throughout the week. It’s simple but effective.
We don’t make a big fuss, just a quick acknowledgment and a sticker. At the end of the week, we look at the chart together and talk about all the kind things they did.
It’s amazing to see how excited they get about filling up their chart. They’ve started noticing opportunities to be kind on their own.
We also try to model kindness ourselves. When they see us being kind to others, it reinforces the idea that kindness is important in our family.
We started noticing kind acts at dinner. Kids began looking for ways to be nice so they’d have something to share.
Pointing out kindness casually worked too. Like ‘That was sweet of you to help your brother.’
It’s been interesting to see how it’s shaped their behavior over time.