I’m struggling with this as a parent. My kids (6 and 8) get really frustrated easily and it often turns into meltdowns. I want to help them learn to deal with frustration in a healthier way, but everything I try seems to just make them more upset. Any advice from parents who’ve figured this out? What worked for you?
I’ve found that letting my kid express frustration in a safe way helps. We have a designated ‘calm down corner’ with pillows to punch and paper to rip up. It gives a physical outlet without causing harm. After the initial burst, we talk about what happened when everyone’s cooled off. Modeling my own frustration management has been eye-opening too. When I mess up, I try to show how I work through it calmly. It’s not perfect, but it seems to be sinking in slowly.
Looking back, one thing that helped my kids was creating a ‘feelings chart’ together. We drew different faces for emotions and talked about what to do when they felt each one. For frustration, we came up with ideas like taking deep breaths or squeezing a stress ball.
I noticed my 6-year-old started using these techniques on his own after a while. It wasn’t instant, but he’d remember to take a deep breath when he got stuck on a puzzle. My older one took longer, but eventually she’d use the chart when homework got tough.
We also started a ‘frustration jar’ where they could write down what upset them. Once a week, we’d look through it together and brainstorm solutions. It helped them feel heard and gave us a chance to problem-solve as a team. 
Remember, every kid is different. What worked for mine might not work for yours, but keep trying different approaches. It takes time, but they do learn.
In our house, we’ve found that acknowledging feelings first goes a long way. When my kids get frustrated, I try to say something like ‘I see you’re really upset right now.’ That usually helps them feel heard.
We also made a ‘calm-down box’ together. It has things like coloring books, squishy toys, and bubble wrap. When they’re frustrated, they can choose something from the box to help them relax.
Another thing that’s helped is talking about frustrating situations when everyone’s calm. We brainstorm ideas for next time. My 10-year-old came up with the idea to take three deep breaths when she gets stuck on homework.
It’s not perfect, but we’ve seen progress. My 7-year-old used to throw things when frustrated, but now he usually asks for help or takes a break instead.
Teaching frustration management is tough. My kids improved with practice.
We started with simple breathing exercises. They’d count to ten when upset.
Giving them words to express feelings helped too. They learned to say ‘I’m frustrated’ instead of yelling.
It’s a slow process, but it gets better.
I’ve been struggling with this too. My 5-year-old gets so frustrated when things don’t go his way.
We started using a ‘feelings thermometer’ where he can point to how upset he is. It helps him recognize his emotions better.
I’m curious - has anyone tried teaching their kids mantras or phrases to repeat when frustrated? Like ‘I can do hard things’ or something similar? I wonder if that might help give them words to use in the moment.
Also, how do you balance helping them through frustration vs letting them work it out on their own? I’m never sure if I should step in or hang back.