I’ve been trying to teach my kids to be more respectful, but I’m not sure I’m going about it the right way. Does anyone have tips on using positive reinforcement in everyday situations to encourage respectful behavior? What kinds of things work well? I’d like to avoid constantly scolding them and focus more on praising good actions instead. Any advice from parents who’ve had success with this would be really helpful.
My kids have really responded well to positive attention for respectful behavior. I try to notice when they use polite words or help each other out. A quick smile or “I like how you said that nicely” goes a long way.
We also started a little tradition where we share one respectful thing someone did that day at dinner. It’s fun, and the kids love pointing out when their sibling or even parents did something kind.
Setting clear expectations has been important too. Before we go somewhere, we talk about how to act respectfully in that place. When they meet those expectations, I make sure to tell them how proud I am.
It’s not perfect every day, but focusing on the good stuff has made a big difference in our home.
Looking back, I remember struggling with this when my kids were younger. What worked for us was noticing and commenting on the little things they did right. If my son held the door for someone, I’d say something like “That was thoughtful of you to hold the door.” No big fuss, just a quick acknowledgment.
We also made it a habit to say please and thank you to each other for everyday stuff. It felt a bit forced at first, but it became natural pretty quick. The kids started copying us without even realizing it.
One thing that surprised me was how much it helped to apologize to them when I messed up. Like if I snapped at them unfairly, I’d admit my mistake later. It showed them that respect goes both ways. 
These small daily habits added up over time. It wasn’t perfect, but I saw real improvement as they grew up.
I model respect in my interactions with the kids. When they’re polite or considerate, I point it out and thank them. Small moments add up over time. Sometimes we talk about why being respectful matters. Keeps things positive.
I’ve found that turning respect into a fun challenge works well with my kid. We have a ‘Kindness Jar’ where we put in marbles for respectful actions we notice each other doing. It’s become a fun family game to catch each other being kind or polite. At the end of the week, we count the marbles and do a small celebration. It’s amazing how much more aware we all became of our words and actions. My child even started reminding me to add marbles when I forgot!
I’ve been working on respect with my 5-year-old too. We started a simple sticker chart for polite words and actions. It’s helping, but some days are still a struggle.
I’m curious about the Kindness Jar idea. How many marbles do you usually end up with in a week? And what kind of celebration do you do?
One thing that’s worked for us is reading books about kindness and respect. My kid loves pointing out when characters are being respectful or not. It sparks good conversations.
Has anyone tried role-playing respectful behavior? I wonder if that might be a fun way to practice. My little one loves pretend play, so maybe we could act out polite restaurant behavior or something.