I’ve been trying to help my kids become more independent thinkers, but I also want to make sure I’m using positive reinforcement. It’s a bit tricky to balance these two things. Does anyone have experience with this? What methods have worked well for you? I’m looking for practical tips that I can try at home with my 8 and 10 year olds. Thanks!
In our family, we’ve found success with a simple approach. We ask open-ended questions about their choices and listen to their reasoning without judgment. This helps them practice thinking things through.
For positive reinforcement, we’ve created a ‘Good Decision’ jar. When the kids make thoughtful choices, they get to add a small token to the jar. Once it’s full, we do a fun family activity they choose.
We also have a ‘problem-solving corner’ with materials for brainstorming. When they face challenges, we encourage them to spend time there coming up with ideas.
These little routines have really helped our kids feel more confident in their decision-making. It’s been amazing to see how they’ve grown!
I remember when my kids were around 8 and 10. Encouraging independent thinking while using positive reinforcement was tricky, but we found a few things that worked well.
We started a ‘Family Council’ where everyone got to voice opinions on household decisions. It was pretty basic at first, like what to have for dinner or where to go on weekends. The kids felt heard, and it got them thinking about pros and cons.
For positive reinforcement, we used a mix of verbal praise and a point system. Points could be earned for things like coming up with creative solutions to problems or making good choices without being told. They could cash in points for small privileges or save up for bigger rewards.
One unexpected thing that helped was letting them make mistakes sometimes. When things didn’t work out, we’d talk about what they learned. It wasn’t always easy to watch, but it really boosted their confidence in decision-making over time. 
We’ve been doing ‘Think it Through Thursdays’ at our house. Kids pick a topic, we discuss options, and they explain their choices.
For reinforcement, they get to put a marble in a jar when they show good reasoning. Full jar means a family outing they choose.
I’m curious about this too. My 5-year-old is just starting to make more decisions, and I want to encourage that. We’ve been trying a game where I give two choices for small things, like which vegetable to have with dinner. Then I ask why they picked that one.
It’s working okay, but I wonder if there are better ways? How do you all handle bigger decisions? And what kind of positive reinforcement works best without going overboard?
I’d love to hear more about what’s worked for your older kids. Mine’s still young, so I’m always looking for ideas we can grow into.
I’ve been trying something similar with my kid. We started having ‘decision time’ at dinner where we talk about choices we made that day. It’s interesting to hear my child’s thought process. For positive reinforcement, we use a sticker chart. Each time they make a well-thought-out decision, they get a sticker. At the end of the week, they can trade stickers for small rewards or save up for bigger ones. It’s not perfect, but it’s helping my child consider consequences more.