I’ve been trying to get my kids to care more about the quality of their schoolwork and chores, but I’m not sure I’m going about it the right way. Any tips on using positive reinforcement to help them feel proud of what they do? I don’t want to overpraise, but I also don’t want them to feel like nothing they do is good enough. What’s worked for other parents?
We started a ‘job well done’ jar at home. Kids drop in notes about tasks they’re proud of.
We review it weekly during dinner. It’s quick, easy, and the kids love it.
Noticed they started looking for more ways to contribute without prompting.
In our house, we’ve found that a simple sticker chart works wonders. Each time the kids do something well, they get to put a sticker on their chart. It’s not just about perfect grades or spotless rooms. We celebrate small wins too, like remembering to put shoes away or helping a sibling.
At the end of the week, we look at the charts together. The kids love pointing out what they did and why they’re proud of it. Sometimes they surprise me with things I didn’t even notice!
We don’t do big rewards. Usually, it’s just extra screen time or choosing dinner. But the real magic is seeing how excited they get about filling up their charts. They’ve started looking for ways to earn stickers, which has made a big difference in their overall attitude towards chores and schoolwork.
My approach has been to make a big deal out of effort rather than results. When my kid tackles a tough homework assignment or cleans their room without being asked, I try to notice and comment on their hard work. We also have a ‘brag board’ in the kitchen where they can post things they’re proud of. It’s fun to see what ends up there - sometimes it’s a good test score, but other times it’s a drawing or a photo of a perfectly made bed. The key seems to be letting them decide what’s praiseworthy.
I remember struggling with this when my kids were younger. What worked for us was pointing out specific things they did well. Instead of just saying ‘good job,’ I’d mention how neatly they folded their clothes or how thorough they were with dusting.
It took time, but they started noticing these details themselves. My daughter even started showing me how she organized her desk ‘just like you showed me, Mom!’
We also had a family dinner tradition where everyone shared something they were proud of that day. Sometimes it was big stuff, other times it was making their bed without being asked. 
The kids began to look for things to be proud of, which was pretty cool to see. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but focusing on the positive really helped build their confidence over time.
I’ve been trying different things with my 5-year-old to encourage pride in their work. Recently, we started a ‘special job’ each day. It’s usually something small like setting the table or folding washcloths.
When they finish, I ask them to show me and tell me about it. It’s amazing to see how excited they get explaining how they lined up the forks just right or made the washcloths into a neat stack.
I’m still figuring it out though. Sometimes they lose interest halfway through. Other times they want to do every chore in the house! How do you keep the excitement consistent? And at what point should kids start doing these things without the ‘special’ factor?
I’d love to hear how other parents handle this balance. What works for your family?