I’m working with kids and trying to figure out the best ways to get them to cooperate using positive reinforcement instead of just telling them what not to do all the time. What methods have worked for you? I feel like I’m missing something because sometimes the rewards don’t seem to motivate them the way I expected. Are there specific techniques or timing that makes a difference?
Making cooperation feel like teamwork works great with my kids. When they help out, I point out how it benefits everyone. Like ‘wow, you cleared the table so fast we have time for an extra game before bed.’ My 10-year-old helps way more now that I ask his opinion on family stuff. He lights up when I ask which movie to watch or what we want for Saturday breakfast. You don’t always need extra rewards either. Just acknowledging their effort out loud makes them glow with pride. My 7-year-old does cartwheels when I tell dad how she organized the playroom without being asked.
I totally overthought positive reinforcement when my kids were little. Made these crazy reward charts and stressed about every interaction. My kids are 14 and 17 now, and honestly? The best moments happened when I wasn’t even trying. My younger son used to help fold laundry. I’d just mention how much faster we got done together. That casual comment hit him way harder than any sticker chart. With my daughter, she lit up when I asked her opinion on family stuff that actually mattered. The real breakthrough? Kids cooperate when they feel valued, not when they get rewards. Mine started helping more once they saw their contribution actually improved our family life. Some days they’d completely ignore praise - and that’s fine. Kids have off days too. 
What shocked me most was how my attitude changed everything. When I genuinely felt grateful (instead of faking it), they picked up on that real energy immediately.
I try to notice the little things my kids do right instead of only praising the big moments. When they help out, like putting away the dishes, I point out how helpful that was.
I also make sure to give rewards that match what they really enjoy. My younger one loves having extra story time, while my older child prefers staying up a bit later on weekends. It took some time to find what encourages them the most.
Getting the timing right is key for us. I give praise immediately when I see them doing something good instead of waiting. Sometimes we expect a lot, but celebrating those little successes makes cooperation feel much easier.
With my kids, specific praise beats generic stuff every time. ‘Thanks for putting your backpack away right when you got home’ works way better than just ‘good job.’ I’ve also noticed that catching them being good randomly matters more than any planned reward system.
My child really seems to thrive on praise rather than criticism. I give her choices for rewards like extra playtime or picking dinner. However, I struggle with being consistent. Some days I do great with the praise and other days I’m too busy to keep up. Do your kids pick up on inconsistencies? I’m concerned it might confuse her if I don’t stay consistent every day.
I’ve been trying this with my child who is 5. Some days it feels like it works great, while other days, not so much. Right now, I mix verbal praise with small rewards like extra bedtime stories. But I wonder, does the type of praise really make a difference? Sometimes I just say ‘good job’ and my child shrugs it off, while other times they light up. Should I be more specific about what they did well? And what do you do when positive reinforcement doesn’t seem to work that day?
What really changed things for us was realizing cooperation isn’t just about rewards. My kids would get excited about sticker charts or extra screen time, but they’d lose interest after a week or two.
I started watching what naturally made them feel good about helping. My 14 year old loves when I acknowledge her effort in front of friends or grandparents. My 17 year old responds better to practical stuff like borrowing the car or having friends over.
Kids can tell when praise feels fake. They cooperate more when they feel like their help actually matters to the family. Instead of just saying “good job,” I’d say “thanks for cleaning up without being asked - it saved me 20 minutes before dinner.”
Some kids need time to process before they respond to positive reinforcement. My younger one would sometimes seem uninterested in praise, but then I’d catch her doing the same helpful behavior again later. Different personalities need different approaches! 
My daughter did this thing where she’d be perfect for a few days, then completely blow off any rewards or praise. Turns out she was testing me - did I actually mean it when I said her help mattered? Once I started following through on stuff like ‘hey, since you helped with groceries, we’ve got time to bake cookies,’ she started believing that helping out actually led to good things. Now she’ll even come up with ways to help because she knows teamwork pays off.