I’ve been trying to encourage my kids to do their chores, but I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. What are some good ways to give positive feedback when they actually finish? I don’t want to go overboard with praise, but I also want them to feel good about helping out. Any tips from parents who’ve figured this out?
My kids respond well to simple acknowledgments. A quick ‘thanks for helping’ or ‘nice work’ usually does the trick.
For bigger tasks, we might do a special activity together as a family. Keeps things positive without making a huge deal every time.
I struggled with this too when my kids were younger. What worked for us was keeping it simple and genuine. I’d say something like, “Thanks for folding the laundry, that really helps me out,” or “Great job on cleaning your room, it looks so nice in here now.” My daughter loved when I’d notice small details, like “I see you organized your bookshelf too!” For my son, a quick high-five or fist bump went a long way. As they got older, I started linking their help to more independence. “Since you’ve been so good about doing dishes, I trust you to decide your own bedtime on weekends.” It wasn’t always perfect, but over time, they started taking pride in their contributions. Every kid is different. What works for one might not work for another, so it’s worth trying a few different approaches. 
In our home, we’ve found a mix of approaches works well for chore feedback. Sometimes it’s as simple as a smile and a ‘thank you.’ Other times, we might put a sticker on the calendar.
My kids really like when I notice specific things they’ve done. Like ‘The bathroom sink looks so shiny!’ or ‘I see you arranged your books neatly.’
We also have a points system where they can earn screen time or pick a weekend activity. It’s not perfect, but it keeps them interested.
I try to switch things up so it doesn’t get boring. Sometimes we’ll have a silly celebration dance or I’ll leave them a little note. The key is finding what motivates each child and keeping it positive.
I’ve been trying different ways to give feedback when my 5-year-old does chores. Sometimes I’ll say something like ‘Wow, you put all your toys in the bin!’ Other times we’ll do a little dance together. It’s hard to know what works best.
I’m curious how other parents handle this. Do your kids respond better to verbal praise or something more tangible? And how do you keep it fresh so they don’t get bored with the same old ‘good job’ every time?
My daughter seems to like it when I take a picture of her completed chore. But I worry that might create unrealistic expectations. What are your thoughts on using photos or other creative ways to acknowledge their efforts?
In our house, we’ve had success with a chore chart and sticker system. My 11-year-old gets to choose a fun family activity when she fills up her chart. It’s been working pretty well so far.
I try to mix up my reactions too. Sometimes it’s a quick ‘thanks for helping,’ other times we might have a special treat. I find that acknowledging the effort, rather than just the result, seems to keep her motivated.
What’s working for other parents? Any creative ideas for keeping things interesting?