I’ve been trying to help my kids become more self-motivated, but I’m not sure how to go about it. Does anyone have tips on using positive reinforcement to get kids to set their own goals? I know it’s important for their development, but I’m struggling with the right approach. Any advice from parents or teachers who’ve had success with this would be really helpful. Thanks!
I’ve found that letting my kid choose their own rewards works well. We brainstorm ideas together and make a list of fun activities or small treats they’d enjoy. Then when they make progress on a goal, they get to pick something from the list. It gives them more ownership over the process and makes achieving goals feel more exciting. Sometimes the anticipation of choosing their reward is as motivating as the reward itself!
My kids have goal charts on the fridge. They pick what to work on and get stickers for progress.
Regular check-ins help them stay on track. Keeps things simple and they enjoy seeing their accomplishments.
In our family, we use a fun goal-setting game. The kids brainstorm things they want to learn or do, then we pick a few to focus on each month.
We have a special notebook where they draw pictures of their goals. Every week, we look at the pictures and talk about how it’s going.
For big goals, we break them into smaller steps. When they finish a step, they get to add a sticker to their picture.
At the end of the month, we have a little celebration for all the progress, no matter how small. It’s become a nice routine and the kids look forward to choosing new goals.
What I like is that they’re learning to think about what they want and how to get there, all in a low-pressure way.
In our house, we started with a family meeting to talk about goals. I asked the kids what they wanted to achieve, and we wrote everything down. Even silly stuff like “eat ice cream every day” went on the list. It got them thinking.
Then we picked a few realistic goals to focus on. The kids each chose one personal goal, like learning an instrument or improving their grade in math. We broke those big goals into smaller weekly steps.
Every Sunday, we’d check in on their progress. If they hit their weekly target, they’d get to choose a fun family activity for the next weekend. It took time, but they started looking forward to those check-ins.
The key was keeping it positive and celebrating small wins. When they slipped up, we’d just refocus on the next week. Over time, they got better at setting and working towards their own goals. 
I’ve been trying something with my 5-year-old that might help. We sit down together and talk about things he wants to do or learn. It’s pretty simple stuff, like tying shoelaces or riding a bike without training wheels.
We write these down in a little notebook with colorful markers. Each week, we look at the notebook and chat about how it’s going. If he’s made progress, he gets to put a sticker on that page.
I’m not sure if this is the best way, but he seems to enjoy it. Have you tried anything like this? I’d love to hear what’s worked for other parents with kids around this age.
Do you think it’s better to have set goals or let them change as the child’s interests shift? I’m still figuring this out myself!