I’ve been reading about positive reinforcement in parenting, but I’m wondering if there’s more to it than just rewards. Does anyone know how understanding what actually motivates kids could make positive reinforcement more effective? Looking for insights from parents or educators who’ve thought about this.
In our house, we’ve found that understanding our kid’s interests makes a big difference. My 11-year-old loves video games, so we started turning chores into ‘quests’ with ‘experience points.’ It’s been fun seeing how excited they get about doing dishes or taking out the trash now.
We also noticed they enjoy feeling trusted with grown-up tasks. Giving them more responsibility, like helping plan meals or manage their own schedule, has really boosted their motivation. It’s not perfect, but it’s made chores feel less like a chore for all of us.
Noticing what interests my kids helped. One kid loves drawing so we use art-related rewards, and the older one finds extra screen time effective. Finding what clicks for each makes rewards more meaningful.
Understanding motivation has been really helpful with our kids. We noticed our older one likes feeling grown-up, so we frame tasks as ‘big kid responsibilities.’ It’s amazing how excited she gets about setting the table now!
For our younger one, we discovered he loves learning new things. So we turn chores into mini-lessons, like counting while sorting laundry or talking about shapes while tidying toys.
We still use small rewards sometimes, but tapping into what naturally excites them has made a big difference. They seem more eager to help out and proud of their contributions.
It takes some trial and error to figure out what clicks for each kid, but it’s been worth the effort in our house.
I remember when my kids were younger, figuring out what made them tick really changed how we handled chores. My daughter loved animals, so we’d turn cleaning into ‘zookeeper duties.’ For my son, it was all about sports stats. We’d time his chores and track his ‘personal bests.’
It wasn’t just about rewards, though those helped sometimes. The real game-changer was tapping into their interests and sense of accomplishment. As they got older, we found ways to connect chores to their goals. My daughter wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter, so we tied that to her responsibility at home.
There were definitely bumps along the way, but understanding what drove them made a huge difference. It turned chores from a battle into something they (mostly) did without fuss. And hey, sometimes they even seemed to enjoy it! 
I’ve been thinking about this too. My 5-year-old loves stickers, so we use a sticker chart for some tasks. But sometimes I wonder if that’s teaching the right lesson.
I’m curious about what motivates kids beyond rewards. Has anyone tried tapping into their natural interests or sense of pride? Like my kid loves pretending to be a superhero. Maybe I could frame chores as ‘superhero missions’?
What other ways have you found to make tasks feel rewarding without always using external prizes?