I’ve been struggling with how to handle discipline for my kids lately. Seems like everyone has different opinions on whether rewards or punishments are more effective. What do you all think works better? Have you had success with one approach over the other? Just looking for some real-world experiences and thoughts from other parents out there.
We’ve tried both. Rewards worked short-term but lost their appeal. Punishments just led to power struggles.
Now we focus on natural consequences. If homework’s not done, no screen time. If room’s messy, can’t have friends over.
It’s not perfect, but it’s working better for us so far.
In our house, we’ve had mixed results with both rewards and punishments.
We tried a reward system for chores, but it fizzled out after a few weeks. My kid lost interest in the stickers and small prizes.
Now we’re experimenting with making tasks more fun. We have races to see who can put away laundry fastest. Or we play music and dance while cleaning.
It’s not perfect, but turning chores into games seems to work better than strict rewards or punishments. My kid is more engaged when it feels playful rather than like a chore.
In our family, we’ve found a balance that works pretty well. We use a mix of natural consequences and positive reinforcement.
For example, if the kids forget to put their bikes away, they lose bike privileges for a day. But when they remember, we make a big deal about how responsible they’re being.
We also use a lot of verbal praise and encouragement. When the kids do something helpful without being asked, we point it out and thank them. This seems to motivate them more than material rewards.
One thing that’s been really effective is our family meetings. We talk about what’s going well and brainstorm solutions together when there are issues. It helps the kids feel involved and understood.
Every family is different, but this approach has helped our kids become more self-motivated over time.
You know, I remember when my kids were younger and we tried all sorts of methods. At first, we leaned heavily on rewards, thinking it would motivate them. It worked for a while, but we noticed they started expecting something for every little task.
So we shifted gears. We still used rewards, but more sparingly. We focused on praising their efforts and highlighting how their chores helped the family. For bigger tasks, we’d do something fun together as a reward.
Punishments rarely worked well for us. They often led to resentment and didn’t teach the lessons we hoped for. Instead, we tried natural consequences. If they didn’t do laundry, they had no clean clothes for the weekend.
Over time, we found a mix of approaches worked best. Some tasks needed rewards, others just became part of the routine. Every kid is different, so it took some trial and error to find what clicked for each of ours. 
I’ve been experimenting with rewards for my 5-year-old. Sometimes it works great, other times not so much. I’ve tried sticker charts and small treats, but I worry about creating expectations. Recently, we started a ‘special time’ reward where we do a fun activity together. It seems to motivate better than material things.
What kinds of rewards have worked for others? And how do you balance rewards with teaching intrinsic motivation? I’m still figuring it all out!