I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately with my kids. Sometimes I give them praise when they do something good, other times I might give them a small treat or let them pick what we watch on TV. I’m curious what other parents think works better - just telling them they did a great job, or actually giving them something tangible as a reward? I feel like both can work but wondering if one approach is more effective long-term. What’s been your experience?
Looking back on raising my two teens, I’ve learned that both have their place but praise usually goes further in the long run.
With my younger one, tangible rewards got things started when we were building new habits. Small treats or earning extra video game time helped motivate him initially. But I noticed that if I relied on rewards too much, he started expecting something every time he did what he was supposed to do anyway.
Praise seemed to stick better over time. My 17-year-old still lights up when I notice she took initiative with something around the house. The trick was being specific about what they did well rather than just saying “good job.”
I think tangible rewards work great for teaching new behaviors or breaking through resistance, but praise builds their internal motivation. My kids now do things because they feel good about contributing, not because they’re waiting for a reward. 
Every kid responds differently though. My younger one needed more concrete rewards at first, while my daughter was always more motivated by recognition and feeling helpful.
I find that specific praise makes a big difference. Saying “you did a great job cleaning up” feels more meaningful than a generic compliment. For bigger changes, tangible rewards seem helpful too. A balanced approach works well.
I’ve found that combining both praise and tangible rewards works best, but timing is key.
When my kids were younger, using things like extra bedtime stories or letting them pick the weekend movie motivated them to adopt good behaviors.
Now that they’re older, giving specific praise resonates more. My daughter lights up when I tell her she did a great job packing her lunch, while my son still gets excited about earning stickers but loves the recognition too.
I believe tangible rewards help establish new habits, but as they settle in, the praise becomes more powerful as they start to feel proud of their actions. Each of my kids responds differently, so I adapt based on what works for them.