I’ve been thinking about how to handle chores with my kids and I’m torn on the best approach. Should I be praising them more for trying hard even if they don’t do the job perfectly, or should the focus be on actually getting the task done right?
For example, if my 8-year-old spends a lot of time cleaning their room but it’s still pretty messy, do I reward the effort they put in or wait until they actually get it clean? I worry that only rewarding outcomes might discourage them if something is too hard, but I also don’t want them thinking that just trying is always enough.
What’s worked for other parents here? I’m curious about different perspectives on this.
i’m dealing with something similar with my 5 year old. we started with putting toys away and i noticed when i praise them for actually trying instead of only when everything is perfect, they seem more willing to help next time.
like yesterday they put away half the blocks and left some scattered around. i said thanks for working on it and asked if they wanted to finish together. they said yes and we got it done.
what i’m wondering is how do you balance it though? i don’t want them thinking halfway is always okay but i also see how they shut down when i point out what’s still messy. do you find your 8 year old responds better to one approach over the other?
My kiddo goes through phases where some weeks they’re all about getting things perfect and other weeks they just want to rush through everything. I’ve noticed that mixing both approaches seems to work better than sticking to just one.
Like when they vacuum their room, sometimes I’ll mention how much effort they put into moving all the furniture around, and then we’ll do a quick walk-through together to catch any spots they missed. They don’t seem to mind the feedback when I acknowledge the work first.