I’ve been trying to find better ways to teach my kids important life lessons and I keep hearing that storytelling is really effective. But I’m not sure how to do it right.
Should I be using existing stories or making up my own? How do you make sure the lesson actually sticks and doesn’t just go over their heads? My kids are 6 and 9 if that helps.
Any parents or teachers here who have had success with this? Would love to hear what worked for you.
My 5 year old loves when I tell stories about a little character who makes mistakes and learns from them. I’m still figuring this out too, but what seems to work is making the character face the same problems my child does. Like when they don’t want to clean up, I tell a story about a messy dragon who couldn’t find their favorite toy. Do you think it matters if the lesson is really obvious or should it be more subtle? I worry sometimes that I’m being too preachy with my stories.
Oh, I totally get this! When my kids were around those ages, I stumbled into storytelling almost by accident. I’d make up little stories during car rides about characters who faced similar situations to what my kids were dealing with. Like when my youngest was having trouble sharing toys, I’d tell stories about a little bear who learned that sharing made playtime more fun.
What really surprised me was how much more they listened compared to when I’d just tell them what to do directly. They’d actually ask questions about the characters and want to know what happened next. Sometimes they’d even connect the dots themselves without me having to spell out the lesson.
I found that mixing both worked well - sometimes using books we already had, other times making up quick stories on the spot. The made-up ones were often more effective because I could tailor them exactly to whatever we were dealing with that week. My kids are teenagers now, but they still remember some of those silly stories I told them years ago! 
I found storytelling to be a great way to engage my child. Once, my daughter was nervous about a swimming lesson, so I made up a tale about a mermaid who had to face her fears to explore a hidden lagoon. We took our time with it over a few days and it really resonated with her. She started making her own adjustments to the story, saying things like “the mermaid discovered she could swim faster than she believed”. It’s amazing to see how much they can connect those themes when you let them participate in the narrative.
What’s worked really well for us is taking bedtime stories and pausing at the right moments to ask what the kids think should happen next. Like when we’re reading about a character facing a tough choice, I’ll stop and say “What do you think she should do?” My 7-year old especially loves this because she gets to be part of the story. Then when similar situations come up in real life, she’ll actually reference what happened in the book. Just last week she was upset about a friend situation and said “Remember when that girl in the story talked to her friend about her feelings?” I’ve noticed it works better when I don’t explain the lesson afterwards. They seem to absorb it more naturally when they figure it out themselves through the story.
We do story time every night and I just started weaving in little lessons naturally. Like if my kid had a rough day at school, I’ll tell a story about a character dealing with something similar. Both mine seem to remember these stories way better than regular talks.