I’m the sole breadwinner in our family. My wife stays home with our two kids (10 and 12). I handle all expenses, savings, and split the leftover money equally with her.
Lately, she’s been saying I should do more housework. I suggested redistributing all chores, including yard work and house maintenance, but she only wants me to take on some of her tasks.
When I asked what she wanted me to do, she gave me a list. Instead of doing those chores myself, I hired a cleaning service and paid for it from our shared budget before dividing the remaining money.
My wife is upset, calling me unfair and financially controlling. I think it’s a reasonable solution. What do you think? Am I in the wrong here?
Trying a cleaning service once left us all awkward. Now we schedule a family tidy-up evening where everyone contributes. It’s not ideal, but it works for us since we value shared routines over external help.
I’m going through something similar with my partner. We’re still figuring out our system, but communication has been key for us.
Recently, we started a ‘chore chart’ on the fridge. It’s simple, but it helps us see who’s doing what. We take turns picking tasks each week, which feels fairer.
Our 5-year-old even has a few small jobs now. They love putting stickers on the chart when they finish.
It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. Have you tried involving your kids in the housework discussion? I’m curious how other families with older kids handle this.
Also, I wonder if there’s more to your wife’s request than just chores. Maybe she’s feeling overwhelmed or underappreciated in other ways?
We faced a similar situation in our house. My partner felt overwhelmed with housework, so we had a family meeting to talk it out. We made a big list of all the tasks that keep our home running smoothly.
Then we divided things up based on what each person could handle. The kids got age-appropriate jobs they could manage. We also looked at where we could cut back or simplify.
For us, getting everyone involved worked better than hiring help. The kids actually enjoy some of their chores now. They get small rewards for completing their tasks without reminders.
It took some adjusting, but now our system runs pretty well. Maybe you could try sitting down together and brainstorming solutions that work for your whole family?
I had a similar situation years ago. My wife and I were both frustrated about the housework. We realized it wasn’t just about the chores, but about feeling appreciated and understood.
We sat down and discussed what each of us was doing, both seen and unseen tasks. This allowed us to see the full picture of running our home. After that, we made a list of all the chores and divided them based on our schedules and preferences.
For us, hiring help wasn’t the answer. We simplified our routines and even lowered our standards a bit. We also got the kids more involved as they grew older. It took time, but we eventually found a balance that worked for everyone.
Listening to each other and being open to changes really helped. Perhaps having another conversation about what’s bothering her might clear the air?
We faced a similar challenge with chores in our house. One thing that worked well was turning cleaning into a family game night. We’d put on music, set a timer, and see who could tidy up the most in 15 minutes. The winner got to pick a fun weekend activity.
My kid actually started looking forward to our cleaning sessions. It became less about chores and more about spending time together. We also rotated tasks weekly so no one got stuck with the same job. It took some trial and error, but we found a system that worked for us without hiring outside help.
