I’ve been struggling with getting my 2-year-old to listen and follow instructions. I’ve heard that positive reinforcement can be really effective, but I’m not sure how to go about it. What are some good ways to praise toddlers that actually work to encourage better behavior? I don’t want to overdo it, but I also want her to know when she’s done something well. Any tips from experienced parents would be super helpful!
I’ve been wondering about this too with my 5-year-old. It’s tricky to find the right balance. I try to notice when my child does something good and say something like “I saw how you put your toys away, that was helpful.” But sometimes I worry if I’m saying the right things.
Has anyone found specific phrases that work well? Or ways to praise that feel natural and not forced? I’m curious what’s worked for others as their kids got a bit older too.
My child seems to respond well when I describe what I see, but I’m still figuring it out. What are some ways you’ve found to encourage good behavior without going overboard?
I found specific praise works well. With my 9-year-old, I’ll say ‘Nice job putting your backpack away.’ For the 12-year-old, ‘Thanks for loading the dishwasher without being asked.’ Short and sweet usually does the trick.
In our house, we’ve had success with a sticker chart for my child. Each completed chore earns a sticker, and a full row means a small reward. It’s turned tidying up into a fun challenge. My kid now reminds me to check completed tasks. We also use a timer for quick cleanup sessions, which has made it a race to beat the clock. These tweaks have made chores feel more like games than obligations.
I’ve found that keeping praise simple and genuine works well with my kids. When my 7-year-old cleans up her toys, I might say ‘Thanks for picking up your room.’ For my 10-year-old, it could be ‘I noticed you finished your homework before dinner.’
We also use a ‘caught being good’ jar. When they do something kind or helpful, they get to put a pom-pom in the jar. Once it’s full, we have a special family movie night.
Another thing that’s worked is praising the process. Like saying ‘You kept trying even when it was hard’ when they’re learning something new.
It’s not always perfect, but these little things seem to motivate them. They get excited about filling the jar and often remind each other to do good things.
When my kids were little, I found that praising effort rather than results worked well. I’d say things like ‘You worked hard on that puzzle!’ or ‘I like how you kept trying even when it was tough.’ This helped them focus on the process, not just the outcome.
As they got older, I started pointing out specific behaviors I liked. ‘Thanks for helping your sister with her shoes’ or ‘I noticed you put your dishes in the sink without being asked.’ It made them more aware of their actions.
One thing that surprised me was how well non-verbal praise worked. A thumbs up or a smile often meant more than words. And sometimes, just quietly noticing their good behavior was enough. They’d beam with pride when they saw I’d noticed, even if I didn’t say anything. 
Every kid is different though. What worked for mine might not work for yours. The key is to keep trying different approaches until you find what clicks.