I’m struggling with my 6-year-old’s behavior lately. He has trouble controlling his impulses and listening to instructions. I’ve heard positive reinforcement can be effective, but I’m not sure how to apply it for self-control. Any tips or strategies that have worked for your kids? Looking for practical ideas I can try at home. Thanks!
In our house, we’ve found success with a ‘challenge’ approach to building self-control. I’ll set up little games or tasks that require patience or following instructions. For example, we might do a ‘quiet game’ where the goal is to stay still and quiet for gradually increasing periods.
My kid loves trying to beat previous records or competing against me. It’s fun, and I’ve noticed improvements in everyday situations too. The key has been keeping it playful and celebrating small wins along the way.
Sticker charts worked well for us. Kids got stickers for following rules or showing self-control. After a certain number, they earned a small reward. Over time, the good behavior became more natural.
I remember when my kids were younger, we had a ‘good choice jar’ in the kitchen. Anytime I noticed them showing self-control, like not interrupting or following instructions without fuss, they got to put a marble in the jar. It was visible and exciting for them.
When the jar filled up, we’d do a fun family activity they chose. Over time, I saw them making more effort to control themselves, even when they thought I wasn’t watching. The jar helped, but what really made a difference was how we talked about their choices.
We’d chat about why their good choice helped everyone, not just to get a marble. It took time, but eventually, they started recognizing their own good choices without prompting. Seeing their pride in themselves was really rewarding. 
Every kid is different though. What worked for us might not work for everyone, but the key was finding a positive way to notice and encourage their efforts.
I’ve been trying to figure out this self-control thing with my 5-year-old too. We started small with a ‘quiet time’ game before bed. I set a timer for 2 minutes, and we see who can stay still the longest. My kid thinks it’s hilarious to try to make me laugh!
It’s not perfect, but I notice little improvements. Yesterday, she waited her turn at the playground without a fuss. I made sure to tell her how awesome that was.
I’m curious about your 6-year-old. What situations seem to trigger the impulse control issues most? Have you found any specific moments where he shows good self-control? I’d love to hear what’s working, even if it’s just tiny wins.
With my kids, we’ve had good results using a ‘caught being good’ approach. I keep an eye out for moments when they show self-control and make a big deal out of it right then. Like if my son waits his turn nicely or stays calm when frustrated.
We talk about how great it feels to be in control and how proud they should be. Sometimes there’s a small surprise, like extra storytime or choosing dinner. But mostly it’s about helping them notice and feel good about their progress.
It took a while, but now they often point out their own good choices. They seem to enjoy the positive attention more than any reward. Consistency and patience were key for us.