I’m looking for practical ideas to help my kids develop a sense of gratitude. I’ve heard that positive reinforcement works well but not sure how to apply it specifically for teaching thankfulness. What are some simple methods that actually work? My kids are 6 and 9 if that helps. Would appreciate any suggestions from parents who’ve tried this approach successfully.
Looking back at when my kids were that age, I remember trying different approaches because one thing I learned is that each kid responds differently to gratitude activities.
My younger one loved earning small privileges when I caught them saying genuine thank yous. Things like staying up 15 minutes later or picking the next family movie. My older teenager was different though - they responded better when I shared how their gratitude affected others. Like when they thanked their soccer coach, I’d mention later how much that probably meant to someone who volunteers their time.
One thing that worked for both was having them pick out thank you gifts for people who helped us during the year. Teachers, neighbors, even the mail carrier during the holidays. They got excited choosing what to give and seeing people’s reactions taught them more than any lecture I could give.
What I found is that forcing it too much backfired. Some days they just weren’t feeling grateful and that’s normal. I focused more on noticing when they were naturally thankful and celebrating those moments 
It took probably six months before gratitude became more automatic for them, so patience really helped.
We do a quick gratitude round at dinner where everyone shares one good thing from their day. Nothing fancy. When they remember to say thanks without prompting, I make sure to acknowledge it later. Mine are similar ages and it definitely took a few months to stick.
We started doing gratitude jar activities where my kids drop in little notes about things they appreciated each day. When the jar gets full, we do something fun together like a movie night or baking cookies. What surprised me was how excited they got when I noticed them being thankful without being asked. Simple things like “I saw you thank your teacher today - that made me so proud” really motivated them to keep doing it. Another thing that worked was having them help me write thank you cards to people who helped us. My younger one drew pictures while my older kid wrote messages. They loved seeing how happy it made the recipients, and now they suggest doing it on their own sometimes. The gratitude jar has become part of our bedtime routine now and they actually remind me when we forget!
My kid went through a phase where gratitude felt forced until we started making it more like detective work. We’d hunt for things throughout the day that made us feel good, then share them at bedtime. What really clicked was when I started acknowledging their thankful moments right when they happened. Like when they thanked their friend for sharing lunch, I’d mention it during car ride home how nice that was. Some weeks are better than others honestly. There are days when my child just isn’t in a grateful mood and that’s okay too.
My 5 year old struggles with saying thank you without me reminding them every time. I tried making it into a game where we count how many times we can say thank you in a day, and they get excited to find new things to be thankful for.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m pushing too hard though. Like when they forget to thank grandma for a gift and I feel embarrassed. Do you think kids this age naturally understand why being grateful matters, or does it just become a habit first?
I’m curious how you handled it when your kids were younger. Did the gratitude jar work right away or did it take time for them to get into it?