I’m trying to move away from giving my kids money or buying them stuff every time they do something good. Looking for ideas on rewards that actually motivate them but don’t cost anything or much. What has worked well for your kids? Things like extra screen time, staying up late, picking the movie for family night, etc. Just want to hear what’s been effective for other parents.
My kids love having special jobs around the house. My daughter gets super excited being my “sous chef” during dinner prep, and my son takes pride being our “family photographer” on weekend walks. Extra bedtime on weekends is huge for them. Just 15 more minutes makes them feel so grown up. I also let them pick car music - gives them something to work towards. Matching rewards with their interests works best. My younger one loves art time with me, so that’s become his go-to reward. Honestly, they value the personal time way more than anything I could buy them!
I’ve noticed that involving my child in the planning really changes their perspective on chores. For instance, letting them choose which tasks to tackle first gives them a sense of ownership. When we worked on organizing the garage together, I made my child in charge of sorting things out. They had so much fun that now they take the lead in deciding our weekend activities, as well as which chores to do. This little bit of control helps them feel more responsible and eager to pitch in, turning it into a fun activity we tackle together.
My 5-year-old loves picking what we do together - weekend activities, extra bedtime stories, that kind of stuff. I keep trying different approaches but maybe I’m overthinking it. Do simple choices beat fancy reward charts? And what do you do when they want the reward upfront before actually doing the thing?
What surprised me most was how much my teens actually care about having friends over. My 17-year-old does his chores without nagging when he knows a friend can stay for dinner or hang out longer on weekends. My 14-year-old’s favorite reward? Getting to rearrange or redecorate her room.
Control over their space is huge at this age. Sometimes I’ll let them skip a family activity they hate or give them first dibs on the bathroom in the morning. Sounds small, but they see it as earning real independence.
What worked when they were little doesn’t cut it now though. Extra screen time used to be gold, but now they’re all about social stuff and having a say in family decisions. My daughter loves picking where we run weekend errands, and my son gets pumped about choosing takeout night 
Best trick I learned? Just ask them what they’d actually want to earn. Their ideas beat mine every time!
One-on-one time beats everything else. My kids clean their rooms without whining if they get to choose something to do just with me. Even 20 minutes makes them feel special.