I’m working with kids and want to focus more on building their confidence through positive reinforcement rather than just pointing out what they’re doing wrong. What are some practical techniques that actually work? I’ve tried basic praise but wondering if there are more effective approaches that really stick with them long-term.
With my own teenagers, I learned specific praise beats generic comments every time. Don’t just say ‘good job’ - tell them exactly what they did well. ‘I noticed you put your dishes away without being asked’ or ‘you stayed really calm in that frustrating situation.’
Focus on effort, not just results. When my 14-year-old struggled with math, I praised how hard she worked on problems instead of only celebrating grades. She kept trying even when things got tough.
Ask them to reflect on their wins. ‘How do you think you handled that?’ or ‘What are you most proud of today?’ My 17-year-old started doing this himself after a while.
Catch them doing small things right. Those everyday moments of kindness or responsibility often matter more than big achievements. Takes practice to notice, but it really builds their confidence. 
Same here - praising effort changed everything for us. When my daughter practiced piano, I’d focus on how she stuck to her practice routine rather than just how she played. I also ask her what she thinks she did well. It really helps kids spot their own wins.
My 5-year-old does the same thing! But I’m torn on timing - do I praise her right when I catch something good, or wait? I worry I’m overdoing it and she’ll start expecting praise for every little thing. How do you balance building her confidence without making it feel forced?
What works best with my kids is celebrating their small wins. When my youngest hung up her backpack three days in a row, we made a little chart and she got to pick our weekend family activity. I’ve found they respond way better when I notice them being kind to each other or their friends. My older daughter still brings up the time I told her how thoughtful she was for sharing snacks with her sister. Those moments stick with them more than praise for homework or chores. I’ll throw little notes in their lunch boxes when they’re working hard at something - nothing fancy, just ‘proud of how you kept trying with those math problems.’ They always come home grinning on those days.
My kid used to brush off compliments, so I started focusing on smaller stuff instead. Like when he’d help a classmate or clean up without me asking. I’d bring it up at dinner - ‘Hey, I saw how patient you were with Sam today when he couldn’t figure out that homework.’ Specific examples like that really click with him. Makes the praise feel real instead of just something I’m supposed to say.