I’ve been trying to teach my kids (7 and 9) to be more responsible around the house. Lately I’ve been thinking about using small rewards or incentives, like screen time or treats, for completing chores. Not sure if this is a good approach though. Has anyone tried this? Does it actually work for building long-term responsibility or just create entitled kids who always expect rewards? Looking for some real experiences here.
Tried incentives with my kids. Worked short-term but fizzled out.\n\nNow we discuss why chores matter. They pitch in more when they understand the reasons.\n\nStill a work in progress, but seems more sustainable than constant rewards.
I’ve been trying different things with my 5-year-old too. Right now, we’re using a simple star chart for basic tasks like putting toys away. It works some days, but other times it’s a struggle.
I’m curious about how others handle the transition from rewards to intrinsic motivation. Has anyone found a good way to gradually reduce incentives without losing momentum?
One small win for us has been turning clean-up time into a game. We set a timer and see if we can beat it. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it’s so much easier than constant reminding.
What age did your kids start really understanding the concept of responsibility? I feel like I’m still figuring out what’s age-appropriate to expect.
I’ve found a mix of approaches helpful with my kids. We started with a simple chart where they could earn stars for tasks. It got them excited at first, though the novelty wore off.
Now we focus on building routines and talking about how our family works as a team. One kid, who is 10, loves feeling grown up by having special jobs that only they can do. For the other child, who is 7, we make chores a bit more fun by racing to see who can tidy up toys fastest.
Small rewards still pop up sometimes, but it’s more about catching them doing things on their own and offering praise. It’s definitely a journey, and we’re always making small tweaks as they grow and change.
I’ve been experimenting with my 11-year-old. We started a ‘Chore Challenge’ where tasks are like mini-games. Folding laundry became a race against a song, and dishes are a chance to practice juggling skills (carefully!). It’s not perfect, but there’s less resistance now.
Some days it works great, other days not so much. We’re still figuring it out, but at least chores aren’t a constant battle anymore. Seeing my kid take initiative without prompting is pretty rewarding.
I’ve used incentives with my kids over the years. When they were younger, like yours, small rewards worked well to get them started. My daughter loved earning stickers on a chart, while my son was motivated by extra game time.
As they got older, we shifted from immediate rewards to a weekly allowance tied to completing their chores. This helped them learn money management too.
The key for us was finding a balance. We didn’t want chores to always be about getting something in return. So we also emphasized how their help made our home run smoother for everyone. 
It’s a process, and what works can change as kids grow. Don’t be afraid to adjust your approach if you notice it’s not having the effect you want long-term.