I’ve been trying to encourage my kids to stick with things and not give up so easily. Lately I’ve been using small rewards when they show perseverance. I’m wondering if this actually helps form good habits in the long run or if I’m just bribing them. Has anyone tried this approach? What were your results? I’d appreciate any insights or experiences others have had with reward systems for teaching perseverance to children.
I remember when I first started experimenting with reward systems and it wasn’t all smooth sailing. At first, little treats or extra playtime really seemed to spark some perseverance. But over time, I noticed that my kids began to rely on those small perks rather than finding the satisfaction in simply finishing a task. I eventually mixed those rewards with sharing some real-life stories about my own struggles and successes. That conversation helped shift the focus — it wasn’t all about the reward but about the personal pride that came with pushing through a challenge. One experiment involved setting a longer term goal; my son was excited to work towards saving for something he really wanted. His journey taught him a lot, even if it took some time. Every child is different, so it might be worth trying various approaches and seeing which one clicks best. 
Rewards can be helpful, but I’ve found focusing on the process works better long-term. With my kids, we talk about how it feels to struggle and then succeed. They love sharing stories of times they didn’t give up.
We also break big tasks into smaller steps. Checking off each part gives them a sense of progress. Sometimes we use a sticker chart, but the excitement comes more from seeing it fill up than getting a prize at the end.
Recently, my youngest was frustrated learning to tie shoes. We practiced a little each day, and I pointed out how she improved. When she finally got it, her pride was amazing. Now she wants to teach her sister.
It’s not always easy, but seeing them build confidence makes it worth it.
Reward systems I’ve tried with my child produced mixed results. Initially, small rewards boosted persistence, but soon expectations grew for a bonus every time.
Now, we concentrate on celebrating the feeling of accomplishment after tough tasks, whether finishing homework or tackling a creative project. Sometimes a spontaneous reward still comes up, adding a bit of extra cheer rather than turning achievement into routine. It’s a work in progress, and I’m cautiously optimistic about her growing pride in facing challenges.
Rewards worked short-term for us, but fizzled out. My kids started expecting them for everything.
Now we talk about small wins and how good it feels to finish something tough. That seems to stick better.
I’ve been wondering about this too. My 5-year-old sometimes struggles to stick with tasks. I tried a sticker chart for a while, but it lost its shine pretty quick.
Lately, we’re experimenting with a ‘challenge jar.’ We write down small tasks on slips of paper and pull one out each day. It’s still new, but she seems excited by the surprise element.
I’m curious about how others handle setbacks. My daughter gets so frustrated when things don’t work out right away. How do you encourage kids to keep trying without pushing too hard?
Has anyone found a good balance between rewards and just letting the accomplishment itself be the motivator? I worry about relying too much on external rewards, but sometimes they seem necessary to get things started.