I’ve been reading about positive reinforcement strategies for kids with ADHD and I’m curious about real-world experiences. My 8-year-old was recently diagnosed and traditional discipline methods don’t seem to be very effective.
For those who have tried positive reinforcement - what actually works? Are reward charts worth it or do they lose interest quickly? How do you handle the balance between rewarding good behavior without making them dependent on rewards for everything?
Would love to hear what’s worked (or didn’t work) for your family.
I find that recognizing the small victories really motivates my child. For instance, just the other day she took initiative and fed the cat without any prompting. I made it a point to give her immediate praise which I think made a real difference. Waiting too long to acknowledge good behavior doesn’t resonate as much. We experimented with a sticker chart before, but it became too much to keep up with and lost its appeal quickly.
Small, immediate rewards beat big future ones every time. My kid loves earning extra screen time or getting to pick our movie night when they handle stuff without me nagging. Specific praise is gold. Skip the generic ‘good job’ and try ‘Hey, you put your backpack away without me asking!’ They absolutely light up when you notice the little things. Reward charts? Three weeks max before they’re over it. Points toward something they actually want right now works way better - like earning that sleepover they’ve been begging for. Just make sure the reward matters to them in the moment.
My 17-year-old has ADHD and we’ve tried everything over the years. Here’s what actually works: rewards can’t feel like bribery - they need to be natural.
When she was younger, simple stuff worked best. She’d do homework without nagging? She got to pick dinner. I way overthought it at first - those complex point systems just stressed us all out.
What stuck was connecting good choices to things she cared about right then. Good morning routine = she picks car music. Simple.
The biggest surprise? How much specific praise mattered. Not just ‘good job’ but ‘hey, I saw you clean up your art stuff without me asking.’ She really lit up when I noticed her actual efforts.
I get the dependency worry, but honestly? The good habits became automatic over time. Now we barely do external rewards - I just acknowledge how independent she’s getting.
We’ve tried different approaches with my child who struggles with attention. Token systems beat charts for us - she earns coins for tasks and can trade them quickly for small rewards. Still working out how to space rewards further apart over time. Does your child need immediate rewards or can they wait a bit?
Reward charts didn’t work for us. They lost interest fast. What helped was allowing my kids to earn things they wanted, like extra bedtime or choosing breakfast on weekends. It felt more natural and less like a forced exchange.
