Hey parents! I’ve been trying to use more positive reinforcement with my kids, but I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. Can anyone share some real-life examples of how you use it at home? Like, specific situations and what you say or do? I’m especially interested in how it works with different age groups. Thanks in advance for any tips!
Sticker charts worked for my 9-year-old. She earns stickers for chores and good behavior. My 12-year-old prefers verbal praise. I try to notice when he’s helpful or works hard on homework.
Both kids like our weekly family game night as a reward for good behavior.
In our house, we’ve had good results with a mix of verbal praise and a simple reward system. For my 10-year-old, we have a chart on the fridge where she puts a star sticker when she finishes her homework without being asked. After a week of stars, she gets to pick a small treat or extra screen time.
My 7-year-old responds well to immediate praise. When he helps set the table or plays nicely with his sister, I make sure to notice and say something like, ‘You’re being so helpful!’ or ‘I love how kind you’re being.’
We also do ‘Proud Moments’ at dinner where everyone shares something they’re proud of from their day. It’s become a fun family tradition and encourages the kids to recognize their own accomplishments.
I’ve found that turning chores into a game works wonders with my kid. The other day, we had a ‘beat the clock’ challenge for tidying up. I set a timer, and we raced to get everything done before it went off. My child was so excited to win, they didn’t even realize they were doing chores!
Another thing that’s worked well is creating a sticker chart. For each completed task, they get to pick a fun sticker. It’s simple, but it makes the whole process more enjoyable. These little tweaks have made a big difference in our household routine.
I remember struggling with this when my kids were younger. What worked for us changed as they grew up. With my younger one, I’d catch her tidying up her toys and say something like, ‘Wow, you’re doing such a great job putting your toys away!’ The smile on her face was priceless.
For my teenager, it’s more about acknowledging effort. If he’s studying hard for a test, I might say, ‘I noticed you’ve been really focused on your studying. That kind of dedication is awesome.’ It’s not always about big rewards, sometimes just noticing and mentioning the good stuff makes a difference.
One thing that helped was being specific about what they did well, instead of just saying ‘good job.’ It took practice, but it got easier over time. And honestly, some days it’s harder than others to stay positive, but it’s worth the effort. 
I’ve been experimenting with positive reinforcement too. My 5-year-old loves it when I notice the little things. Yesterday, I saw him hang up his jacket without being asked. I said, ‘I saw you hang up your jacket all by yourself!’ His face lit up.
I’m curious how others handle it when kids expect praise for every little thing. Sometimes I worry about overdoing it. Anyone else face this? How do you strike a balance between acknowledging effort and not creating praise junkies?
Also, I’d love to hear about using positive reinforcement for harder tasks, like homework or more challenging chores. What’s worked for your older kids?